Closer
by annaliesegrace
Summary: A series of events that bring Kensi and Deeks closer. Rated for themes, nothing explicit. Chapter 8 is rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Closer

Author: annaliesegrace (formerly CSIphile)

Rating: T

Summary: A sting gone bad brings Deeks and Kensi closer.

Pair: Kensi/Deeks (I love these guys and I love how their relationship has evolved over the season)

Disclaimer: Yeah, no own-y.

AN1: Well, hello readers. This is my first NCIS:LA fic, but have written many for NCIS as CSIphile. I decided to write NCIS:LA (and any other new shows that strike me) under a new name. Same old author, shiny new name! Needed to be done, honestly…my old name didn't reflect me at all anymore.

This fic is a quick two shot that depending on how it goes I may add more to as a supplement to the season's action. Reviews are welcomed, so please leave one to let me know how you are enoying it!

One last item, the stuff in italics is conversation over the earwigs.

_There's a drumming noise inside my head  
That starts when you're around  
I swear that you could hear it  
It makes such an all mighty sound_

There's a drumming noise inside my head  
That throws me to the ground  
I swear that you should hear it  
It makes such an all mighty sound

_Louder than sirens  
Louder than bells  
Sweeter than heaven  
And hotter than hell_

Drumming Song, Florence + The Machine

Chapter One: Drumming Song

It had seemed like an easy op, one they had done a hundred times before with little trouble. This case, though, Callen had a feeling would not be so easy. Maybe it was because LAPD had so easily turned it over to them when their last victim was a Marine on leave. Maybe it was because despite six weeks and four victims the LAPD had shockingly little to go on on a case that was receiving increasing media attention. Initially Hetty had balked at taking the case because of said attention; their division didn't exactly do media.

And then they had seen the case file.

And the pictures of the victims, and it had been a silent agreement they would do it.

Because when the victims were the spitting image of one of yours it brought it home with blinding force. They could each picture Kensi in those autopsy photos and it shook each of them more than they would admit aloud. In a way it was a reminder that it _could _be any of them, at any time, their line of work made no guarantees.

But by Callen's estimate it hit Deeks the hardest. Ever since they had agreed to take the case and Kensi offered to be bait the liaison officer had been shockingly quiet. And while usually the team lead would find relief in the younger mans sudden silence, now it was just…disconcerting. It was very similar to his behavior during the hours Kensi was held hostage by the Russians. That case and Talbot had changed their relationship for the better, even Callen could see that. Kensi's attitude toward Deeks had softened considerably; her irritation with him – while quite real and usually justified – had an air of respect and joking in it now. And Deeks had eased up on the frequency with which he pushed her buttons. It was clear they now each trusted the other with their lives and were _partners_ instead of two people thrust together for work. And there was a difference between the two, a big one.

When Kensi had readily – and quickly -offered herself to the sting operation, Callen watched concern settle on her partners face. And somewhere inside he sighed, because he had seen that kind of concern before, the kind that sometimes preceded work partners becoming something more.

But for now he had filed it away and focused on the job, he could talk to the junior agent and liaison officer at a later date if it became an issue.

Which, in retrospect, was a mistake.

Though he wasn't sure anyone would have seen what happened next coming.

All the victims had been to one of two bars in downtown LA, each had disappeared on a Saturday night, taken to an unknown location, raped and beaten before being strangled and dumped where the bodies would be found quickly Sunday morning. The date rape drug had been found in their systems, which explained the lack of defensive wounds and there had not been a shred of physical evidence where they had been before their deaths. Whoever was doing this was good.

Each had been remembered by the bartenders as party girls, dancing with multiple partners – and flirting their way through the night. The LAPD file had also included a brief psychoanalysis of the suspect. White male between 25 and 40, loner, probably rejected by a woman who looked like their victims for another man. Marty had talked to the detectives on the case and hadn't gotten much; they were considering their own sting operation before NCIS had pulled the case. Callen had decided that was probably good thing.

Undercover was _their _thing.

Every angle had been considered before sending her in; they were all in the club – Sam as a bouncer and Callen and Deeks acting as two guys out for a good time. Eric was locked into the bar's closed circuit TV from a van in the alleyway. They even had LAPD on standby if necessary. But that didn't stop an unsettled feeling from dropping into Callen's stomach as he and Deeks found a table directly above the expansive sunk in dance floor that they could see most of the bar from. It was a big place with lots of alcoves and hiding places a couple could disappear into, not the most ideal, but three victims were here last, so they took their chances. It had been three weeks since the last murder; they hope was their man was getting itchy and would be looking for a target.

And she made the perfect target.

They watched as she entered, turning heads right away in a pair of tight, dark low slung jeans, a sparkly dark red fitted halter top and black stiletto heels; her makeup was heavier than usual, accenting her features just right and her hair fell in long, loose curls down her back, large dangling earrings hung from her ears.

Both men stared at her a little longer than necessary, neither would deny their female partner was attractive on a daily basis, but tonight she was downright hot. Model hot. Way above their leagues hot.

Deeks watched his partner smile at every man that looked her way and something that he tentatively identified as jealously sparked in him for a brief second before he pushed it down and took a drink of his beer.

Looking over at Callen, Deeks got the distinct impression that the other man knew exactly what he was feeling.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he finally asked as a distraction.

Callen eyed him. "You think Kensi can't handle it?"

"Oh, I know she can. It just seems…dangerous to toss her out there to the wolf."

"It's what we do, Deeks. It's what she's good at," he responded and indicated their partner who was standing by the bar with her best charming smile on, clearly flirting with the man next to her.

"You don't like it either." Deeks finally concluded, taking a sip of his beer.

Now Callen let out a loud sigh. "No, Deeks, I don't _like_ sending my junior agent out as bait for a serial rapist and murderer. But what's the alternative?"

The object of their discussion's voice floated into their earpieces. "_You do realize I can _hear _you, right?"_

"_Yes, princess,"_ Deeks replied and both watched as a fake annoyed expression flitted across her face before she broke out into a small genuine smile. Deeks had taken to calling her that on occasion and at this point it had become an inside joke between them and an easy way to break tension.

For the next two hours she flitted around the bar, smiling, touching arms, accepting drinks (which she never actually drank) and being her first-date best. In the van Eric had run facial recognition on each man she encountered using the CCTV system, coming up empty on all.

"_Not sure our guy is going to show," _Sam's voice rang through their ears.

"_He'll be here, I know it," _Kensi answered quietly and glanced at her watch. _"Let's give it until 1."_

Callen and Deeks exchanged glances before the NCIS agent agreed. _"But let's up the ante, really get his attention."_

Deeks flashed him a questioning glance.

Nodding in Kensi's direction, Callen gave Deeks a pointed look that he got immediately and the Detective stood, heading in the direction of his partner as he straightened the ice blue polo shirt that he knew made his blue eyes stand out more than usual.

Deeks easily sidled up to her at the bar and leaned into her personal space, placing his lips at her ear.

"Care to dance?" he breathed and she turned to look at him, leaving their faces inches apart, and for a moment she froze, her gaze locked on his a moment longer than necessary.

"Sure," she finally stammered out and placed the glass of what looked like vodka - but he was sure was just water – onto the bar top.

Leaning into her back as they walked, Deeks spoke quietly into her ear that didn't have the earwig and carefully covered his so his next words would go mostly undetected by the group.

"You look totally hot tonight."

"As opposed to all the other times when I don't?" she asked and turned around to face him, a broad grin on her face, she knew she had him.

"No, that's not what I meant…I just mean you look good…not that you don't normally…you do. But tonight…" he trailed off, realizing now they all could hear him and the distinct sound of Callen stifling a laugh came through loud and clear.

"You know what I mean…" he finally muttered, giving up on the explanation.

As they moved to the center of the floor she wrapped her arms around his neck and started moving sensuously to the song playing. "Just dance with me Deeks; you know how to do that, right?"

"Yep," he replied as she released his neck and turned around leaving inches between them, her body still moving at a leisurely pace, but picking up the tempo along with the song. To his credit, Deeks moved confidently with her, if their man was paying attention the two weren't hard to find.

Eventually she turned back around to face him and smiled broadly at him. "What do you know, you _can _dance, Deeks."

Now it was his turn to smile. "I can do more than just dance…" He let the implication hang and dipped his head toward her, kissing her neck gently while one hand landed on her hip.

At the contact from his lips, Kensi felt a jolt through her body and she had to physically resist arching into him as his hands made their way around her back, pulling her closer. Her partner mumbled something into the skin at her jaw before kissing her there as well, but she was so lost in the sensation of his lips on her that whatever it was went unheard.

When he sucked gently on the skin below her ear she actually let out a small "oh" that Kensi only hoped the pulsating music of the dance floor helped drown out to their colleagues. Sure, Callen and Sam could see them, but they didn't need to know how she was reacting to Deeks' touch.

Because it surprised her as much as anyone; though maybe it shouldn't have. Their working relationship had grown significantly stronger in the last couple months and even she had to admit there was a spark of…something the first time they met. And she was certainly having a physical reaction to him, one she hadn't experienced in a long time. Sure, they flirted, but it all seemed so harmless and in fun…until of course his lips moved to her pulse point and she felt a familiar warmth rush, desire was flooding through her and for a brief moment she wished this wasn't an assignment and they were somewhere more private.

It was bizarre and yet natural all at the same time as they continued to move together to the music, at some point he had pulled away from her, his eyes locked on hers and she could tell that this wasn't _all _an act, there was something else fueling their actions. Pure attraction or something more she wasn't quite sure. All Kensi knew was that of the many times she had made out with her partners – Callen more than once - for a cover, not one other time did her body tingle like it did now as Deeks' hands started to roam across her bare shoulders.

Pausing as the song changed, they just stared at each other, completely still, each very aware of what was happening between them - until Eric's voice came through, breaking the moment. _"Have a possible. Callen, at your twelve, green polo and khaki pants, blonde…I think. Seemed very interested in Kensi and Deeks. Running facial now…"_

"_Got him. Keep it up guys; let's see if we can get a bite." _Callen responded.

Kensi gave Deeks a quick look before yanking her partner to the side of the dance floor, pressing him hard against the wall directly below where Callen was standing and couldn't see them but their mark could, his face surprised at her sudden aggressiveness. Slowly she moved her hands up his torso, across muscles, over shoulders then behind his neck, pulling him down to her lips.

And that was that moment that she wasn't sure how much they were actually pretending anymore. So she just…let go, pressing her smaller body against his as their tongues met between now open mouths. Well, she had certainly never done _that _with Callen.

Just as she was considering breaking off from him for some much needed space and a reminder what they were supposed to be doing, he spun them so she was now pressed back against the wall and his arms boxed her in at shoulder level. Those deep blue eyes staring at her, as confused by the turn of events as she was, but equally unwilling to stop.

He returned to her desperately, pressing his lips to hers again, his fingers digging into the slightly exposed flesh at her hips while her hands gripped onto the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to her, covering her body with his. Her mind was fuzzy, lost in the feeling of Deeks body pressed against her, his fingers sliding back and forth along the skin above the low waistband of her jeans and his lips moving unhurriedly against hers, his tongue darting into her mouth gently. It took all her might not to let out a low moan as he…

At that moment Eric's voice snapped through the fog and they paused. _"Got him, Aaron Andrews, thirty five. Computer programmer…still looking here…"_

"_Give me everything Eric…" Callen said sharply._

Broken out of their little world, Kensi gave him a broad smile and asked, "Drink?"

"Shouldn't I ask you that?" he returned.

"Then ask…"

"Care for a drink?"

"Sure."

As they got to the bar, Kensi ordered two beers – her first actual drink of the night - and Callen was back in their ear. _"He's taking the bait, following you guys…"_

"_Hey, guys…" _Eric's voice cut in. _"I found a wedding announcement; he was going to marry a Megan Shannon approximately 8 weeks ago, but as far as I can see the wedding never happened."_

"Sounding good," Deeks said into his beer as Kensi stared at him intently while she drank her own - her body was still humming from their actions on the dance floor. Clearly they were going to have to have a talk after this.

Setting her nearly empty bottle down, Kensi nodded toward the back. "Ladies room, wait for me?" she asked seductively and Deeks noticed the bartender staring at her closely.

"I'll be waiting…" he said and kissed her again. And again that feeling flushed through her.

Walking away she swung her hips, knowing that Deeks was watching and spoke quietly enough that only the team could hear. _"I'm turning off the mike unless you guys really want to hear me pee."_

"_Off is good…"_

Laughing she pushed the door open and clicked off the mike.

As she washed her hands, dizziness suddenly overcame Kensi and she had to grip the sink to keep from falling over. Taking several deep breaths she gathered herself enough to take four steps toward the door before everything around her began to spin and she put out one hand, leaning against the wall for support.

It seemed like the door should have been right in front of her, but reaching for it, it seemed like a mile away. Anxiety ripped through her.

_No, no. no…_

She knew the symptoms; she had been drugged. But her increasingly foggy brain couldn't put together how it happened, they had been so careful.

And yet, here she was, alone in the bathroom, out of contact…

The mike…

Reaching up she fumbled with the small button, unable to reactivate the device as her limbs refused to cooperate fully with her.

Finally she reached the door and opened it only to have her vision start to go blurry, but she was aware enough to realize she was in serious trouble.

Because standing in front of her was Aaron Andrews.

"_We have a problem…" Eric said quickly. "I finally got a picture of Megan Shannon, I'm sending it to your phones now and you won't believe it."_

"_Believe what, Eric?" Sam asked testily. _

"_Wait…"_

Suddenly all their phones indicated a new message and as they looked at the picture fear settled in each of them. Because while the other dead women looked like Megan Shannon, Kensi could have been her sister.

"_Where is Kensi?" Callen snapped._

"_Heading to the bathroom now," Deeks responded._

"_We're right behind you…" _Deeks wasn't sure who it was responding; he was busy pushing through the crowd.

"_Eric, where's Andrews?" _Callen asked as he moved equally quickly toward the back.

"_I…lost him. He was watching Kensi and Deeks by the bar then…" _A long pause came from the tech then. _"Oh…he went toward the bathrooms..."_

Just then Deeks made it to the hall and without knocking opened the women's room door, shouting his partner's name. When no response came back from the small room, he quickly swept the area, not finding anything. Walking back out to the hall Deeks looked right and saw the back entrance to the club, the door propped open.

"Kensi…" he yelled and bolted toward the door, pushing it open into the cool December LA air, looking both ways with desperation. "Kensi!"

Nothing. She was gone.

TBC…


	2. Raise it Up

Title: Closer

AN: THANK YOU to everyone who alerted and extra THANKS to those who took the time to leave a review, I love reading them. Please see the note at the bottom of the chapter.

Also…bad words are in this chapter as are the themes that got it the T rating.

_Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl  
Frozen in the headlights  
It seems I've made the final sacrifice_Rabbit Heart, Florence + The Machine

We raise it up, this offering  
We raise it up

This is a gift, it comes with a price  
Who is the lamb and who is the knife  
Midas is king and he holds me so tight  
And turns me to gold in the sunlight

CHAPTER TWO: Raise it Up

"Kens!" he yelled one more time as Callen appeared by his side.

"How'd he get to her?" The team lead asked, the anxiety clear in his voice. "She wouldn't go without a fight."

After looking both ways down the alleyway the side entrance spilled into, Deeks paused and stared at Callen, comprehension dawning on him. "She was drugged."

"He never got near her!" Callen exclaimed as Sam joined the pair.

Suddenly Deeks pinned Sam with a look. "The bartender…the one that gave us our beers, he was giving Kensi this…look. Eric…"

"_Pulling the video now," _Eric said.

"Get him." Callen commanded Sam before turning back to Deeks, clearly leaving the LAPD Detective in charge. "Which way?"

"Right. Left is Wilshire, too busy…right takes us to another alley that runs behind the clubs."

Quickly the two men took off, the alley they were in ended where the second intersected them at a T. They had two choices, one would get them to Kensi, and the other would be a dead end.

"_Eric, get LAPD here, but tell them silent. We spook this guy he might just kill her now. Are there cameras in this alley?"_

"_LAPD has been notified and they are rolling silent, holding back one block. No, no cameras in that alley, but I am scanning the surroundings as best I can, Nell is doing more digging at the Mission. If they show up, we will find them."_

"Shit…" Deeks hissed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. They were wasting precious seconds, but if they went the wrong way they would lose more. "Split up…" It wasn't ideal, but it would have to do.

Callen nodded and turned right while Deeks went left, moving carefully but quickly. This was surreal, had it been only 20 minutes ago that they had been on that dance floor?

How could they have let her go to the bathroom alone? And turn her mike off?

The first thing she was aware of was arms around her, carrying her swiftly, and a headache pounding through her skull. "Deeks?" she slurred but no answer came and suddenly she remembered what happened.

And she started struggling against Andrews, attempting to get him to loosen his grip, but it was a futile effort, he just held on tighter and her body quickly gave into the heavy, drugged feeling covering her.

"Let me go," she said halfheartedly, her mind fuzzy.

"Not yet, love…we are gonna have some fun first."

"No…"

A sudden vague awareness of the mike still in her ear gave Kensi hope; if she could turn it on they might be able to find her.

So she used all her focus to get her fingers to cooperate with the small on/off button on the outside of the device. One push, that's all she needed to manage and it would activate.

The second try was successful and she heard the distinct beep that alerted her it was transmitting.

"Deeks…" she called again.

"_Deeks..." _The sound of her voice floating through his ear was the sweetest sound Deeks had ever heard and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Kensi…talk to me baby, where are you?"

"_Don't know…"_ she mumbled, clearly struggling.

"Ok, ok…" he said calmly. "Can you open your eyes and look around, tell me what you see?"

"_Mmmmm…" _she hummed. Suddenly a grunting noise came through over her voice. _"No…no! Stop…"_

The fear in her voice was palpable; Kensi knew what was going to happen to her.

"_Deeks…" _she cried.

"_Who's Deeks, baby?"_ Andrews voice carried clearly through her mike. _"One of the many men you were dancing with? Why would you do that to me? To us? We were happy, we were in love!" _As he spoke Andrews' voice became angry then the distinct sound of someone being slapped hard came through followed by decidedly female groan.

After several seconds of silence she spoke again, _"Stopped..."_

"_Ok…hang in there…" _Deeks spoke soothingly to her even as the sound of lips meeting flesh carried over the mike and he had to repress a shudder at the visual that came to him of what was happening to his partner. Sudden anger flooded through him at their inability to locate her and stop the attack that they were all forced to listen to. _"Eric…come on man."_

"_I've got nothing; they don't appear on any camera I can access. Nell can hack into more at the office, but she isn't seeing them either."_

She could hear the conversation going in her ear and struggled to focus on something, anything that would help them find her. But her ability to concentrate was mitigated by Andrews, who was grabbing and kissing her in places she didn't want him to. Every time his lips or hands found their way to her body she was distracted from her attempts at focusing on a landmark, street sign, anything.

"You're so beautiful, look at this body, the best of the bunch, by far," he murmured in her ear before untying and pulling her halter top down to her waist, exposing her bra to him. "Ohhh, yeah…"

Fear coursed through her and she again attempted to fight back, pressing her small hands onto his large chest, pushing hard, trying to get his body away from her. All the self defense moves she had practiced for so long were useless in her state; it was a struggle to get her limbs to cooperate this much. So instead she stopped fighting him and again tried to focus on a landmark, figuring her energy was better expended getting help to her.

"_Starbucks…" _she said.

Deeks, who had completely frozen overhearing Andrews, snapped back at her word.

"_Good, Kensi, good, but there are like…five Starbucks within a mile of the club on Wilshire. Are you in an alley?"_

That she could answer. _"Yes."_

"_Ok…"_

Suddenly she was aware of hands roughly moving over her back then breasts, before sliding down her sides to her jeans and unhooking then pulling her belt out.

"_No!" _she screamed.

Again Deeks froze as he now heard the distinct sound of a belt being pulled violently through loops and then the sickening sound of a zipper.

"_No, please…don't…don't…" _The pleading tone in her voice made him want to beat something in frustration. They were close, he _knew _it, but not close enough.

Running his hands through his hair again, Deeks tamped down the nausea that was threatening from the sounds still coming over the mike. Clothing rustling, skin meeting skin, grunting from their suspect, Kensi's shallow breathing. Without a location all he could do was talk to her, keep her calm and focused.

"_Kensi…"_

"_Asshole…" _Clearly it was directed at Anderson.

"_Kensi, listen to me." _He insisted, but got no response. _"Can you hear me?"_

"_You're a dead man…" _Her voice was getting slurry, and she had moved on from pleading to threats. Which Deeks did not consider a good sign, she was accepting her fate.

"_Princess?"_

That got her attention, bringing her focus back to him. _"Deeks?"_

"_Yes, concentrate on me right now, ok? When this is all over I'm taking you for a fried Twinkie."_

"_Gross…" _The response was considerably slurred and he knew pretty soon she wouldn't even be able to communicate with them.

"_Ok, I'll buy you a year's supply of the whole Hostess line if you can stay focused on my voice. Can you do that?"_

"_Yessss…"_

In another alley, Callen listened to the conversation as he continued to move south of the club, impressed with Deeks focus on his partner and his ability to get Kensi talking.

"_Ok…Can you look around? Besides Starbucks, overpriced by the way, what do you see?"_

"_Can't..."_

"_You can. You're Kensi, you can hotwire a damn plane and track people in the middle of the desert, so I _know _you can do this."_

Keeping her focus on Deeks words and not the hands roaming over her body and pulling at clothing, she made one last effort to look around. And found what she was looking for just as her vision started to blur at the edges.

"_Troy…" _She finally got out before her head slumped back against the brick behind her, everything going dark.

"_Eric?" _It was a question and a command all in one from Callen.

Instead Nell's voice cut through, excited. _"Two blocks north of you Deeks…Troy Cleaners, their alleyway leads to the one you are in."_

The Detective took off without responding back, he knew the place and was maybe a minute away.

"_Right behind you…" _Callen called and Deeks could hear the other man panting, trying to catch up, but the team lead was a solid five blocks behind Deeks. _"Eric, get LAPD out there, still silent, and an ambulance."_

"_Already on it…" _the tech responded.

It wasn't even a minute before Deeks skidded around the corner into the alley and saw their suspect, mostly obscured by a dumpster, his partner not visible.

Pulling his gun up, Deeks realized he wouldn't be able to get a shot off without the potential of ricocheting so instead he took off full speed toward the other man, only bothering to yell out "LAPD" as he closed the last ten feet between them and body checked the man without slowing. The stealth attack gave Deeks the advantage and he was straddling Anderson on the ground, gun pointed at his head before the other man realized what had happened.

"Move and I'll put a bullet in your head." Deeks voice gave no room for argument and he turned to check on Kensi, who had slumped to the ground, propped partly up against the dumpster, clearly unconscious.

Carefully Deeks rose - keeping his gun pointed steadily at Anderson – and moved over to her, placing a slightly shaking hand on her neck.

It was there. It was erratic and not as strong as he'd like, but it was there. Distantly, he heard sirens.

"She was going to be the last," the man on the ground suddenly said and Deeks pinned him with a glare even as the suspect licked his lips. "She is delicious, isn't she?"

"Shut the hell up."

"So soft and smooth…"

"If you don't close your fucking mouth I'll do it for you," Deeks hissed.

The other man laughed and put his hands up in defeat.

Just then a second set of footsteps echoed down the alley and Callen appeared from behind the dumpster, taking only a moment to decide to relive Deeks of guard duty so he could tend to his partner.

As Callen raised his gun and began handcuffing the suspect Deeks kneeled in front of Kensi, placing one hand on her cheek. "Kensi? Kens?"

No response came from the brunette and Deeks carefully pulled her shirt back up at least to cover her chest. "ETA on the ambulance?"

"_Thirty seconds…"_

Gently he stroked her hair, whispering her name and a plea to wake up. When no response came he turned toward Anderson.

"How much did your buddy the bartender give her?"

No answer.

Swiftly Deeks stood and brought one boot down on the man's hand, crushing his fingers into the asphalt. "One more time. How many?"

"Three….three, god dammit."

The Agent and Detective exchanged similar glances, both stunned that their partner was able to stay as conscious as she was with that much GHB running through her system.

Just as Deeks was about to ask about the ambulance, it appeared at the end of the alley on Wilshire, fifty yards from their current location. A wave of relief washed over him, this mess of an operation would be a just memory soon enough.

* * *

Sitting in the emergency waiting room at Cedars, Deeks wished he'd had just one more minute with Anderson, just enough time to met out some deserved retribution. A few well placed Lakers versus Celtics tickets for that weekend would probably get him some private time at County if he really wanted. Staring at Callen sitting across from him, Deeks figured the other man probably had some super-secret NCIS way of getting revenge and he probably shouldn't waste the tickets.

"Kensi Blye?"

The three men stood as one and approached the doctor who led them through double doors and back into the trauma ward.

"Miss Blye is lucky. We were able to pump her stomach and get the remains of close to two pills out before they were completely absorbed. Her respiration, pulse and blood pressure are back to normal and she's conscious now, though a little confused as one would expect. Her memories are pretty hit and miss right now, but that may improve with time." They stopped at the door to a small room. "I'd like to keep her for a couple more hours to make sure she doesn't worsen, and then she is free to go home, though it would be best if someone could stay with her."

"Not a problem," Callen responded, his gaze steady on the closed door.

"Then you are free to see her, but keep it short, she's pretty tired."

They all nodded and Callen opened the door. Immediately the lone female on the team turned her head toward them and smiled tiredly.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey…" Sam responded as they stood by the bed, Deeks on one side, Callen and Sam on the other.

"How are you feeling?" Deeks finally asked.

She turned to him. "Tired…fuzzy. It's all…dreamlike. I can remember bits and pieces…How did he dose me?"

"The bartender was in on it, he was the one drugging the girls," Sam explained. "Genius really, that way Anderson was never actually seen with the victims beforehand and no one suspected the guy serving the drinks. And it was part of the reason Anderson switched bars…the bartender was fired from the first place shortly after the first murder. They had been friends for years."

"Yeah, genius…" she repeated softly. "Can I get out of here?"

"Couple hours," Callen told her and watched her face fall.

Suddenly a nurse stuck her head in the door and gave them another 15 minutes before Kensi was scheduled for one last test.

The men looked at each other for several seconds, there was no way they were leaving her alone, but all three of them didn't need to stay either.

"I'll stay," Deeks said quickly, looking at the dozing form of his partner, she had drifted off during their silent conversation.

"K, call us when she is released and we'll come get you. You can fill Hetty in later."

Deeks just nodded and watched as Callen and Sam kissed her on the head before quietly saying their goodbyes and walking out the door.

Sitting on a rolling stool, Deeks slid as close to her head as he could and gently stroked her hair. "You scared the hell out of me today."

"You saved my ass again today," she mumbled and he pulled his hand back in surprise.

"Well, someone had to do it."

She snorted lightly, eyes closed. "I totally had him."

Deeks was relived she seemed to be taking the events in stride. That or she really didn't remember everything that happened and at this point, he was willing to go along with either scenario.

"Totally did."

Now she opened her eyes, they seemed clear. "You're a good partner, Deeks. I knew you would find me. You always do."

He wasn't quite sure what to say to that. "Look, I know I'm not always the easiest guy to get along with…"

"No, you aren't."

"Let me finish, would you?" She waved an apology and he continued, "But I think this partnership has potential."

They stared at each other a moment, both reliving their encounter on the dance floor and suddenly his words had a double meaning. Meaning neither was willing to voice just yet.

"Yeah," she agreed before adding, "To give me grey hair."

"Hey now…"

"Maybe I should get your colorists name…"

"Ok, that's just mean …this mane is au natural. And admit it, you're jealous."

"Terribly," she replied sarcastically before becoming serious again. It seemed they couldn't have a conversation without veering into light jabs along the way, but for them it worked. It was easier somehow. "You're staying?"

"Until you get sprung, yep. You're stuck with me."

She looked down at her hands. "I wouldn't say stuck."

He gave her a genuine smile and suddenly knew what to do with those Lakers tickets. "Saturday. You, me, Kobe and Kevin."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, and if you behave I'll take you."

She gave him her best evil grin. "Oh, I'll behave."

"Why do I suddenly feel like I don't want you to?"

All she did was smile.

END?

AN: Well lovely readers, I am thrilled by the response to this story and think I would like it to be become a series of connected one shots with our favorite duo that runs parallel to this season – though my posting might be sporadic. Here's the twist though, I am willing to take suggestions for some of the scenarios from you the reader. This is big for me, I never let the readers dictate the story, but I need to challenge myself and Im confident you guys can come up with challenging ideas! So PM or leave in a review a brief situation/scenario you would like to see Kensi/Deeks in or hell, a topic they would fight about and Ill do my best to oblige. Your suggestion needs to at least not contradict show canon (no random siblings appearing) or what has happened in previous chapters and needs to be able to be contained within one-ish chapter. And I flat out will not do pregnancy fic. Sorry if that's a lot of rules, but while I'm willing to take suggestions, I still have fic control issues. Heh. Credit will be given to the person who comes up with that chapters theme.


	3. Adult Behavior

Thanks for this chapter should be directed at gf7, who (probably inadvertently) provided the plot in their last review. I suspect this will not be the last chapter to reference what happened in chapter one, but it's a good start. At least I think it is. Tell me what you think. (yes, that was a poorly disguised attempt at begging for reviews)

I forgot to mention - unbetaed, so any boo boos are all mine.

More ANs at the end…on with the show…

_I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map  
And knew that somehow I could find my way back  
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too  
So I stayed in the darkness with you_

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
You left me in the dark  
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight  
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
You left me in the dark  
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight  
In the shadow of your heart  
Cosmic Love, Florence + The Machine

CHAPTER 3: Adult Behavior

"That was awesome," she said as they approached the car.

Her companion smiled and turned to face her, walking backward. "Because of the company, of course."

"Sure," she drew out. "And the beer said company bought."

"Ohhh, I see how it is. Using me for my Lakers tickets and beer."

"Hey! You offered to take me, I didn't ask. Remember that."

He gave her a broad smile as they came to the front of the car, Kensi heading to the driver's side as usual. "I did indeed."

Just as she pulled the keys out of her pocket, he reached out, grabbing her hand. "Let me drive."

She stared at him skeptically. "I don't let people drive my car."

"I disagree; I have driven your car many times."

Now she pinned him with an annoyed expression, he had her there. "Sure, for _work. _And, why?"

"Let's just say I'm not ready to go home yet."

"What if I am?" she asked just for the sake of being contrary. She could admit she didn't want the night to end either, the game with Deeks had been more fun then she'd had in a long while. Not once during the game had they argued or even been snarky at each other, instead they enjoyed the entertainment and each other's company.

Deeks had gotten particular entertainment value out of watching Kensi scream at the officials at the top of her lungs when she didn't like a call. And since they had been a mere five rows from the floor, he knew they heard her; hell, people on the other side of the building had heard her.

"No, you aren't. Its…" he looked down at his watch. "Ten thirty on a Saturday night and we don't have to work tomorrow. I have no doubt that your usual bedtime is still several hours away."

"What do you know about my bedtime?" she asked lowly.

He closed the distance between them and Kensi could feel her body starting to hum at his proximity, she both hated and enjoyed how easily he did that to her these days. "I know it's later than ten thirty. Hand over the keys."

She made a show of thinking about it – even though her mind had been made up the second he asked – and pressed the keys into his upturned palm.

Settling into the passenger seat as he started the car she asked, "Where are we going?"

"Trust me."

"I do," she responded, a hint of seriousness in the words.

They both knew her response was about more than wherever he was driving them to.

As they pulled onto the 110 south, Kensi stared out the window, the moon was full and casting a white glow across the city, it was beautiful. The remainder of the ride was in silence and as he exited the 405 she turned toward him and smiled, knowing where he was taking them.

"Manhattan Beach…your favorite."

"Yep, it's a little touristy but the people watching on a Saturday night is fantastic." That broad, stupid grin crossed his face and Kensi couldn't help but return it.

Quickly he parked and they got out, heading toward the walking path that ran next to the beach. It didn't take long before a clearly already-drunk couple passed by, clinging to each other while trying not to fall over and laughing hysterically.

"Oh, this is starting out well," Deeks said and rubbed his hands together with glee.

They walked slowly for the better part of an hour, mostly watching other people, both easily picking out the tourists from the locals. Much fun was made at the women who insisted on wearing 4 inch high stiletto shoes and ultra miniskirts to walk on the beach and the men who ogled those women as they walked by. The conversation was easy and light, something they rarely experienced with each other that didn't involve jokes at the others expense.

Eventually he tugged on her arm, indicating the beach and they both took off their shoes, heading onto the sand, heading to an area fairly secluded.

But not secluded enough…as they wandered closer to the ocean Kensi spotted what at first seemed to be a lumpy shadow. And then the lump started to move and Kensi realized that it was a large blanket she was looking at, with two people under it. She gripped onto Deeks' forearm, tilting her head in that direction.

"Is that…are they? Oh come on…"

She nodded and bit her lip to hold back the laughter.

Deeks winked at her before taking several strides toward the couple. "LAPD!" he yelled and two half naked people jumped up, holding various articles of clothing up to themselves. "This is a public beach, take it somewhere else."

It didn't take but a minute and they were alone, the two would be lovers scurrying to the boardwalk.

"That was mean," she finally said as they sat on the beach, close to the water.

"Mean? Really? Maybe they should have thought about it before having sex on a public and very popular beach."

Clapping some sand off of her hands, she laughed. "Well, yeah, there is that."

The sound of the waves crashing filled the comfortable silence between them and Deeks snuck several sidelong glances at his partner who was staring out into the ocean.

"Quit staring at me Deeks."

"I wasn't staring."

She turned and pinned him with a look. "You were."

Turning back to the water he responded, "Ok, I was."

"What's on your mind?" she finally asked, also looking out, fascinated by the strip of moon that reflected off the water. Kensi knew whatever it was must be serious for him to be acting so cagey. Marty Deeks was nothing if direct, so this behavior of his was disconcerting.

"We haven't had much time to talk this week."

"We've been together all week, Deeks. And you don't know how to stop talking."

"Funny. No, we haven't talked about what happened last Saturday." They both knew he didn't mean what happened between them.

She stiffened and kept her gaze straight ahead. "Look, I gave Hetty my report and did my stint with the psychologist like I was supposed to."

"I…" he let out a long sigh. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Really ok."

"I'm fine, Deeks."

Now he turned to her, disbelief on his face. "You were drugged and nearly…"

Kensi faced him. "I know what nearly happened, Deeks," she snapped at him.

Deeks could tell by her expression that Kensi was far from fine, she was just putting up a good front. "Talk to me."

There was something about the earnestness in his tone that made her want to spill all her secrets. Then his warm hand grabbed one of hers and he laced their fingers together with such reverence that she broke.

"I…couldn't stop it, Deeks. It was like I was watching the whole thing from outside my body but I could still feel him touching me. I tried to push him away, God, I tried so hard, but the drugs...Then his lips were all over me." She shuddered, her free hand ghosting over her neck, and he moved closer, pulling their joined hands into his lap, his thumb moving in slow circles over her skin. "And I could hear you talking to me."

She looked at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I could hear you and…and it gave me hope because I knew you would do anything to get me back. I tried to focus on you, Deeks, knowing you had to be close, knowing I had to try even as his hands were all over me, touching and grabbing at me, violating me…"

"Oh, Kensi…" he whispered and reached across, wiping tears that were starting to fall off her face. Never before had he felt such murderous rage toward a person, but in that instant he could kill Anderson and not have an ounce of guilt about it.

Taking a deep breath to gather herself, she looked into his eyes. _"You_ kept me sane in there."

"Wow, bet you never thought you would say that," he quipped, trying to ease the mounting tension between them. Because this tension wasn't attraction, and it wasn't se, it was emotional. And that was far more dangerous in their line of work. Partners needed to trust each other, have a certain level of connection to function as one in the field; and Deeks knew firsthand what happened when work partners became more. But at the same time, he couldn't deny the pull she had on him; he would break every rule in the book and then some for her; and that scared the hell out of him.

"Don't do that…" she said.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm sorry it went sideways, I'm sorry I didn't have your back, I'm sorry it got as far as it did."

"You don't need to apologize. I've accepted the fact that more often than not, I get to be the bait. And you have to stop taking it so personal when something happens; it's not your fault. Because once in a while, a mission goes off the rails despite how much we prepare. Admittedly, the last couple months have been more…challenging than usual."

"That's an understatement."

"My point is…" she sighed and realized how much closer they had moved to each other during the conversation, their shoulders touching, his thumb still moving absently on her hand. "My point is there are no guarantees in this job, Deeks, and we have to make the best with what we get handed. But I _know _that if something does happen that you'll have my back."

"Always…" he said softly and they stared at each other for a long moment, the air between them heavy and thick with electricity.

"Deeks," she whispered as their faces moved imperceptibly closer.

"Yeah, Kens?" he returned in a whisper just before their lips met in a slow, tentative kiss.

Before her brain could catch up with what her body was doing, Kensi had her free hand grasping at the front of his green t-shirt almost desperately pulling him toward her. Deeks in turn had his hand cupping the back of her head as the kiss morphed into several kisses broken by desperate gasps for air in between.

Eventually she felt her body falling gently back onto the sand, Deeks following her – landing half on her, half in the sand - his hand now tangled in her hair, lips never leaving hers. Their joined hands had been forced apart as they fell, and Deeks placed his on the other side of her head in the sand, keeping him from crushing her.

Much like the club the previous weekend, every one of her nerves felt like it was on fire around him. And knowing that this was real, not some attempt to hook a bad guy made the feeling ten times more intense. And frightening. The last time she had had such a physical reaction to another man had been Jack and she was still scarred from that relationship. Plus this was Deeks, her partner, they all knew the perils of getting to close to your partner, there was a line in the sand you simply should not cross and they were one foot over.

So she pushed on his chest just enough to get his attention and he pulled away, staring at her with an intensity that made her shudder. For one moment she wanted to take it back and have his lips back to hers again, his body pressing against her again and – help her –see how far this could go.

"We can't do this. It's…dangerous," she said, echoing the thought he had resolutely pushed from his mind the second they kissed.

Letting out a frustrated groan, Deeks flopped back onto the sand next to her, staring up at the cloud free sky, the stars twinkling.

"We're partners…it's too…complicated," she continued. "You know that."

"Ok then, I quit," he responded.

"No, you don't."

"Fine, I don't. Can we pretend I do?"

Now she laughed aloud. "No, Deeks."

Silence reigned for several minutes as they laid there in the sand, each wondering how they had gotten themselves so deep into this mess when it was only eight months ago they couldn't even trust each other. How far they had come.

"So," he drew out, still staring up. "What do we do now?"

After several seconds she stood up, grabbing her shoes. "Now I take you home and I'll see you on Monday. We're adults," pausing she looked at him with a devious grin. "Well, at least one of us is. We can handle this like adults. Right?"

He also stood and picked up his shoes, shaking the sand out both them and his clothes as best he could. "Right, no problem."

Even as he said the words he didn't quite believe them. It would be hard to ignore these feelings he had for her when they saw each other ten plus hours a day, but if it meant at least having her as his partner, he would do it. He would have to.

"We good?" she asked as they slowly walked back to the car.

"We're good," he responded, nudging her gently with his elbow.

Twenty minutes later she was pulling up in front of his apartment complex, and for a moment they both sat silently.

"Goodnight, Kens."

"Night, Deeks."

Opening the door, he paused momentarily before turning back and kissing her chastely on the temple.

"See you Monday," he called out as he stepped out of the car.

Shaking her head slightly she put the car in drive. Being an adult was certainly going to be harder then she expected.

AN2: Can I just take a moment and channel my inner fangirl, and squee about how lovely last nights ep was? I mean honestly…_she set his clocks ahead fifteen minutes because hers are. _I personally find that an oddly intimate thing to do, don't you? And then the end when they agreed to meet in the middle a little bit? Deeks just gets this…tone and expression when he is being serious with her that makes _me_ melt a little. And the previews for next week? .. /rant over thank you for your attention. Again, I am still looking for scenarios…or even a couple lines of dialogue that you might like to see.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, readers. Once again, extra thanks to those who took the time to review, it is always greatly appreciated. This chapter was a struggle…more than I expected it to be, it went through three rewrites before I got it to a place I was satisfied with.

The song attached to this chapter actually says a lot about how Kensi behaves at the end. On with the show...

Looking back at me I see  
That I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in  
Things I cannnot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold  
Never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep  
It always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me there's just no hope

_Cold, Crossfade_

_

* * *

_

Chapter Four: So Cold

Kensi looked out the window of her SUV and sighed. The relative comfortable temperatures of winter had already been replaced by increasing heat and humidity associated with spring in LA and it was only early March. This did not bode well for the rest of summer.

Deeks shifting for what seemed like the fifteenth time in under a minute forced her to turn her attention away from her target and pin him with an annoyed glared before turning back.

The first couple days after their encounter at the beach had been awkward, but they had plowed through and after a few weeks were in a comfortable place both personally and professionally. If anything their partnership was stronger for it and they managed the attraction between them as best they could. Several times the physical pull between them had been nearly overwhelming, but each time they were able to keep it in check. Though Kensi got the distinct impression at some point they wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. Even as they tried to avoid excessive touching, every time they innocently brushed hands or he jokingly swung an arm around her, the electricity mounted between them.

"I'm bored…" her partner finally admitted.

"That's because you have the attention span of a three year old," she said and granted him a large smile.

"Nice. Is this you working on lightening up? Cause you sorta suck at it."

"Shut up Deeks."

"And there it is."

She let out another loud sigh and kept her eyes on the warehouse. "Stakeouts are, by definition, boring."

"Oh, I could think of ways to make it less boring…" he said and waggled his eyebrows at her.

Annoyance crossed her features and she indicated the earwigs they wore, the entire team could hear their conversation.

He mouthed "what?" and she just turned away from him, trying to hide a smile.

"_We have movement on the east side, Kensi, Deeks, keep an eye out."_

"_Got it," _she replied just as three men armed with AK-47's turned the corner and went into the door they had been watching the better part of three hours.

Suddenly she was aware of Deeks leaning over the center console, his head right behind hers looking out her window; she could smell the shampoo he used. An Axe product, for sure, and yeah, it did drive her crazy.

"Finally, some action," he said, his breath warming the skin at her neck.

She shuttered slightly at the feeling.

"_Confirmation…move in."_

Quickly the two partners hopped out of the car, each grabbing an extra magazine of ammo before approaching the same door the bad guys had just entered.

"_On three. One, two…three."_

They opened the door and with guns raised, pushed into the warehouse, following the sounds of talking. Finally they reached a small clearing in the warehouse where all the men were located, their weapons on the table in front of them or on the surrounding boxes. Perfect.

Quietly Kensi and Deeks took up position behind several large boxes and waited for Sam and Callen to signal they were ready. Surprise was on their side and with the men unarmed the balance distinctly shifted in their favor.

_Easy pickings, _she thought and took a deep breath, closing her eyes to center her mind on the task at hand.

Just as she opened them back up, Callen whispered "go" and they surrounded the men instantaneously, yelling "Federal Agents". Shockingly the men merely looked at each other before raising their hands above their heads in defeat; they all realized that before they would even be able to make a move toward a weapon one of the agents would have them on the floor, dead.

"Well that was a letdown…" Deeks commented as the last of the men were loaded into an LAPD van.

Callen approached the two, watching the van disappear, and spoke, "Drinks?"

"Hell yes." Was Kensi's automatic reply.

Deeks merely nodded enthusiastically, he could use a good drink after this week.

"Same place?"

Again nods and they each headed back to the mission, quickly dropping off gear before promising Hetty they would all do their reports in the morning. The woman in charge had given the group a long look before agreeing.

* * *

"No, I'm serious," Sam insisted. "Callen is chasing this dude and he just…fell into the in ground pool."

The group was at their favorite hole in the wall bar, seated at a four top bar-height table. Various glasses and beer bottles littered the wood tabletop.

"Dude?" Deeks asked raising his arms in surprise. "How do you miss a pool? I mean…it's a pool!"

"I was focused on the guy…" Callen started patiently explaining again. "And just…didn't notice it."

Kensi leaned into Sam's side, laughing hysterically at their team lead who, sitting next to Sam, looked exasperated.

"Did you get the guy?" Deeks finally asked.

"Yeah," Sam answered. "I caught him as he jumped the neighbor's fence."

"You promised never to tell that story Sam," Callen started.

"Come on G, it was six years ago, and it's a funny story…"

Kensi took a long pull from her beer as the partners argued the merits of trust and spared at glance at her partner, who was giving her an indescribable expression. Tilting her head at him with a "what?" expression, Kensi wondered what was going through his blonde little head.

Nothing good, she was sure of it.

And when his thigh gently brushed hers as he stared at her intently she _knew_ he was up to no good.

This was the kind of no good that got them into trouble.

Turning her attention back to Sam and Callen, who were still arguing the necessary time required to pass before telling an embarrassing story one promised not to tell, she nearly missed Deeks move subtly closer to her. What she didn't miss, however, was the back of his hand gently brushing the back of hers as she held her beer bottle.

And that familiar warmth started to spread through her body at the touch.

Taking another long swallow of her beer, she stared at Deeks intently, unsure what his end game was here. They had managed to keep the physical attraction between them contained up to this point, both knowing that it would only take a small spark to send them down a path they weren't willing to go.

At least she wasn't. She couldn't, not with him.

_Damn him, _she thought as his fingers ghosted over her wrist, but did nothing to stop it because it had been far too long since he had touched her like that. It had been far too long since _anyone _had touched her like that. And there was something about the way that Deeks did it that not only elicited a physical reaction, but an emotional one as well.

Which was the problem. She could handle a purely physical relationship with anyone, but a deeper connection? No, that was out of the question.

A hand landing on her shoulder pulled Kensi out of her thoughts and she found her partner staring at her with a concerned expression.

"You ok?" he finally asked.

Shaking her head she realized the entire table was staring at her.

"Yeah, fine….sorry," she said with a broad smile.

Sam gave her a look before standing and putting several twenties down on the table. "Well, its past my bedtime."

Deeks looked incredulous. "Seriously? Hetty said we could come in late."

"He needs all the beauty sleep he can get," Callen said and stood, clapping the larger man on the back and repeating his actions with several more twenties. "See you two in the morning."

"Yep," Kensi replied as Callen passed her, giving him a broad smile.

"Ok, partner," she said as she turned back to Deeks, ready to call it a night.

But as the words slipped from her mouth, he placed one hand behind her head and pulled her into a gentle, yet passionate, kiss. After her initial surprise, Kensi gave into it, returning the kiss with equal fervor, one hand sliding into the hair at the back of his neck.

As they pulled away she looked at him, confusion running rampant. Her body was screaming for more of him…all him. But her mind was also reminding her loudly what a terrible idea this was on so many levels.

"No…" she finally said softly and shook her head.

"That…" he started and leaned into her, kissing her cheek before continuing, "was not". He kissed her jaw. "A no."

"I…we agreed." She sounded lame even to her own ears.

The devious expression that crossed his face concerned her, right up to the point where he leaned in and dipped his head down, kissing the skin just below her ear. At that point rational - or coherent for that matter - thought left her head, her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a low moan. God, he knew exactly what to do to make her forget everything.

Pulling away, he cupped one cheek and met her eyes. "Let's get out of here."

The implication was clear; he wanted to continue this in a more private location.

Looking at the tenderness in his eyes, Kensi wanted to cry.

Because deep down she knew this could never just be sex between them. Once they crossed that line, there was no going back; there was no just "getting it out of their systems". And that terrified her more than anything. Marty Deeks was a good man, and he didn't deserve the relationship disaster that she was.

"I can't," she whispered and looked down into her lap.

He backed away from her slightly before reaching out and tilting her head back up with his fingers. "Why?"

Instead of answering, she shook her head and slid down from the stool she was on, grabbing her jacket. "Let it go, Deeks."

"I don't…Kensi!" he yelled as she walked away and out the door. Quickly he dropped cash on the table and ran out after her.

But he wasn't quite fast enough; her Cadillac was pulling from the curb as he rounded the corner.

"Dammit!" he yelled to no one and walked in the other direction to his car, he really screwed it up this time.

Most of the next morning was spent silently working on the reports promised to Hetty, though the silence coming from her side of the room was a lot louder than anyone else's.

Deeks had sent several looks his partner's way, but she managed to keep her head down. The detective wasn't 100% sure what had happened last night, one second she was returning his kiss, the next she was shutting him down. It confused the hell out of him more than anything. Sure, maybe starting it wasn't his best idea, but again…she hadn't given him any reason to stop his advances.

Now he wondered if asking her to leave was what did it. But really, what difference would the location have made? He just didn't think the entire bar needed to see them making out and assumed she felt the same.

Halfway through hour three, he caught Sam and Callen giving him stern looks.

_Christ almightly, that's all I need, the big brother brigade on my ass. _Deeks thought as Kensi got up and headed toward the restroom.

Sam and Callen took the opportunity, with the team lead crossing the room to sit on the edge of his desk, while Sam just leaned back in his chair, his steely glare fixed on the detective. Somehow the man made leaning look menacing.

"So…how's it going guys?" Deeks asked lightly.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell us what's up with Kensi?"

Deeks laughed nervously. "Why would I know?"

Sam pursed his lips. "She was fine when we left last night, we come in today and she's barely speaking. What happened?"

"Nothing happened." Well, at least technically it was the truth.

The glare that earned made Deeks visibly wince. Sighing he looked at them with a dead serious expression.

"Look, guys. I'm telling you, nothing happened."

"Nothing usually means something. So whatever did or didn't happen, Deeks? Fix it. Now." Callen's words were clipped and left no room for argument.

"I will."

With that Kensi walked back to her desk, eyeing the men. It didn't take her long to figure out what was going on and she let out a long suffering sigh while picking up the paperwork she had completed, quickly signing the bottom before picking up her gym bag.

"Back in an hour," she said and turned around.

Sitting outside the women's locker room, Deeks wondered how in the hell he was going to make this right. Everything he thought of sounded trite and ridiculous in his head.

Eventually the door opened and out came his partner, who upon seeing him tilted her head in invitation to follow her.

Well, he certainly wasn't expecting that. Scrambling off the floor he followed her into the expansive – and empty - gym.

"Look Deeks…"

"Kensi…"

They started simultaneously.

"Let me get this out…" she said and he nodded. "I'm sorry about last night; I shouldn't have let it get that far."

He considered that. "Then why did you?"

"You started it, Deeks!"

"I know I did, and you responded…then just…pushed me away. Why?"

She loudly sighed, knowing he would push; it was what he did. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Kensi…I think we need to talk about it."

"Why? Why do we need to talk about this? We moved on before, we can move on again."

"Because this is different."

She stared at him. "How is this different?"

He took a step closer to her, his voice low. "It just is and you know it."

She did, she would just never admit it. Last night was so far removed from their previous encounter that the motivation behind it wasn't because they were coming down from the high of a tense case, one where one of them had nearly been killed. No, this was purely their feelings for each other pushing to the surface.

Gently she placed both hands on his chest and looked him in the eyes. "I need you to listen. Regardless of what I may have felt, this _cannot _happen between us. And I need you to respect that and I need you to back off."

"Kensi…what if this," he gestured between them, "could be great?"

"Deeks, _please_. _Let it go._"

It was the pleading, desperate tone in her voice that finally did him in. Clearly there was something going on that he was not privy to. And right now, he was willing to give her the space she needed in the hope that maybe one day she would turn back to him.

Pressing his forehead to hers, he spoke lowly. "I'll back off, Kens. But I'm always here if you need me."

"I know…"

Taking a deep breath he reluctantly pulled away from her. "Ok…ok. I'll see you later."

She merely nodded and he walked out of the gym, leaving her to stand alone in the large room. And suddenly Kensi wondered if she'd made a catastrophic mistake.

* * *

AN2: Yes, why Kensi is pushing Deeks away so hard WILL be revisited in a chapter (probably chapter after next) I have plotted out in my head and makes me sad thinking about it.


	5. Comatose

You may note that I updated the summary, because this fic has moved far past the sting gone bad. Again thank you to those who took the time to review, they are always welcome and appreciated.

This chapter is sort of a post-Personal piece (well, the first part), if Personal happened in my fic world.

_I hate feeling like this_

_I'm so tired of trying to fight this_

_I'm asleep and all I dream of_

_Is waking to you_

_Tell me that you will listen_

_Your touch is what I'm missing_

_And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you_

_Comatose_

_I'll never wake up without an overdose of you_

Comatose, Skillet

* * *

Chapter 5: Comatose

She could have lost him. Had Vakar decided that Deeks was better used dead, or one of his goons hit him in the heart, he would be in the morgue instead of sleeping in a hospital bed. Shifting in the chair, she angled herself more toward her partner, who in sleep looked so much younger than his not quite thirty years. With that mop of blonde hair and peaceful expression she could almost picture him as a child. If only the bandages strapped across his chest didn't ruin the image.

Yawning, she scrubbed her hands across her make-up free face.

It had become a ritual now, after work she would go home, shower and change before bringing Deeks real food so that he didn't have to subject himself to hospital food for dinner (according to him breakfast and lunch were enough). Usually she stayed until after he fell asleep for the night, only then slipping away and back to her own apartment. It was starting to wear her down and Kensi was thankful her partner was going to be sprung the next day.

Today, unfortunately, she had been running seriously behind, so her hair had gone up in a quick, messy ponytail and her usual makeup was flat out forgotten in her rush to get to the hospital.

Thankfully Deeks – if he even noticed – managed to not say a word about her slightly disheveled appearance. If anything, he thought she was more beautiful that way, not that he would ever say that to her for fear of imminent harm.

As Deeks started snoring, Kensi considered getting up to go, but she was so comfortable in the chair and her limbs just refused to heed her command to get moving, so she decided a couple more minutes wouldn't hurt. It wasn't ten minutes later that she finally gave in to the exhaustion (though she was determined to just take a short nap), and her eyes slipped shut.

The sun streaming onto her face alerted the agent to the fact that her "short nap" had morphed into sleeping the night in the hospital. Snapping her eyes open, she found herself looking into her partners blue eyes, which were fixated on her from his spot on the bed.

"Now that's a face I could get used to waking up to," he commented and smiled broadly.

She stretched and glanced at the clock, six thirty in the morning. "You tell that to all the girls?"

"Nope."

His sudden seriousness caused her to pause and stare at him intently. "Deeks…" she warned.

"It's the drugs, I swear, the good stuff makes me all loopy…" he said lightly.

She gave him an exasperated look. "You've been off the good stuff for two days and you're always loopy."

"Oh, well then…" he said and let the implication hang.

Kensi just shook her head and stood. "I need to go into the office this morning, but I'll be back this afternoon to pick you up and take you home. Remember…you're on house arrest another week."

"Don't remind me," he muttered and poked at the bandage circling his torso, thankful the blasted thing would be coming off today.

Approaching the bed, she reached over and put her fingers in his hair, ruffling it slightly. "If you're good, I might stop at the store and get you your favorite beer."

As she pulled her hand away, he grasped her wrist gently, holding her there. "Thank you, Kens."

"You're welcome."

Silence reigned between the partners for several minutes before she suddenly nodded at the door. "Um, call me and let me know what time."

He dropped her hand. "Will do."

After several halting steps toward the door she turned back to him. "I'm really glad you're ok, Deeks."

"Me too, I'm really glad you didn't get kidnapped."

She snorted. "Yeah, me too." Another pause. "Later."

He saluted her and she disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Kensi got into her car, started it, and then sat for several minutes, staring at the entrance to Pacific Medical. She could have lost him. She could have _lost him. _

That's when the meaning of the words finally broke her down and she put her forehead on the steering wheel.

They all knew that this job made no guarantees for tomorrow. But that aspect was easily set aside on a day to day basis when more important things – like getting the bad guys – took precedence. It was easy to forget until one of them actually landed in the hospital and it was easily forgotten again once said person was in the clear. They wouldn't be able to function as agents (or detectives) if the fear of personal bodily harm tainted their actions.

But every once in a while, the specter of death hovered longer than it should.

Today it did. Today it hung around her…unwanted. For some reason today she couldn't shake the terror of the possibility of him being dead. Of losing another partner.

Of losing _Deeks._

Lifting her head, she closed her eyes, trying in vain to push away the fear, but it persisted, almost mocking her stubbornness to not feel anything. Because she could not afford to get emotionally invested in this man, and yet in the back of her head she knew it was far too late for that, because damn him, she _was _invested.

He and his annoying little ways had broken through her normally solid defenses, and before she even realized he had done it, Marty Deeks had pushed his way into her life. In under a year of knowing her, he had managed to pry out more information then she had ever divulged to Sam and Callen.

When he dialed down the sarcasm and childishness, Kensi would bet that Deeks would be able to get information out of anyone – because he had done it to her. But it was when he dropped everything, became serious, and gave her _that look, _she realized there was far more to her partner then even she could have imagined.

He had proven that over and over to her.

And yet, she still pushed him away, even as he pressed forward. Because that's what Kensi Blye did; she didn't let people get to close to her.

At 3 pm Deeks called her saying that he would be released in an hour.

"Chauffeur duty?" Callen asked as she set the phone down.

"Yep; he's being released, I'll be back in a couple hours," she said while grabbing her purse.

"He's doing ok?"

"Yeah, back to being Deeks."

"You doing ok?" he asked with that Callen face that said he already knew the answer.

"I'm fine…"

"Deeks is your second partner to get shot…"

"Oh my god, this again?"

"You didn't talk about it last time."

"Because there isn't anything to talk about."

"Uh huh."

"Callen…"

"Kensi…"

She nodded toward the door. "I have to go…"

"Ok, so go."

She rolled her eyes and headed out; annoyed that Callen seemed to be able to see how much this bothered her.

An hour later she was depositing Deeks on the couch in his apartment while the detective went on about missing the nurses at the hospital.

"Keep it up, and I'll be more than happy to send you back…" she threatened and headed into his kitchen, where she sorted out the pain medications the hospital had sent home with him and set out his next dose on the counter.

"You could just give me a sponge bath…" he yelled from the couch.

Walking back into the living room, she paused, leaning against a chair, shaking her head. "No chance."

He shrugged. "Worth a try."

Rolling her eyes she approached him, sitting on the arm of the couch. "You'll be ok? I really have to head back in; we are this close to catching our suspect."

"Yeah, fine. I'll be bored in no time, but what are you gonna do?"

An awkward silence filled the room until she stood. "Ok, call you later?" He nodded as she gathered her things. "Take the next pain pill in an hour, it's on the counter. And for the love of god…just relax will you?"

"I'll do my best," he said and stood slowly, heading toward the kitchen.

"I'll lock the door behind me. Later Deeks…" she said and closed the door, locking it with a small smile.

Gingerly Deeks made his way to the kitchen in search of a bottle of water. Opening the fridge he found what he was looking for, she had filled the door with Gatorade. But what was on the shelf next to the three six packs of beer had him laughing out loud for the first time in days.

Lime Jello; half a shelf worth of the stuff.

Coming to a stop about a mile from his apartment, Kensi's phone chirped to let her know she had received a text message.

_Thanks. Check your console._

Confusion on her face, she opened the top of the center console and pulled out a half dozen Twinkies that she had NOT put in the car. Knowing him, he had conned Nell, or maybe Eric, into putting the treats in her car.

Quickly she returned the text. _Nice one. Who did you pay?_

_I'll never tell._

That elicited a light laugh and she set the phone down, shaking her head.

* * *

"Suspect or witness?" he asked as they approached their man in the parking lot of a strip mall. This was a game with them now, one that Kensi could admit she frequently had fun with.

"Hmmm, I don't know…I say witness."

Her partner looked at her sideways. "Naw, suspect. This guy screams trouble. Baggy jeans, white tank top, that stupid haircut…"

"Really?" she asked and ran her eyes up and down his body before giving him a pointed look.

"What?" he started then followed her gaze. Jeans and white tank top, though to be fair, he _was _wearing a button down shirt over it. "Nevermind."

"Jason Jennings?" Kensi called and the man turned around…only to quickly take off in the other direction.

"Oh come on…" Deeks said as he took chase after him, Kensi close behind. "Suspect!" he yelled.

As their man ran down the narrow sidewalk in front of the shops, Kensi split off to the right down a small space between buildings while Deeks continued behind him. Suddenly a group of teenagers stepped out of one of the stores – directly into his path.

To avoid colliding with them, Deeks stopped short, yelling, "LAPD, move!"

Whether it was his yelling, or the fact he had been running full force at them, or – more likely – the gun dangling in his hand, the group came to a complete stop in front of him, frozen like deer in headlights and impeding his progress.

Deeks watched his guy make a quick right and disappear out of sight and let out a noise of frustration.

"MOVE!" he yelled again and this time pushed forward, forcing the group to part to allow him through. Deeks figured he had been held up twenty seconds, thirty at the most, and hoped Kensi had caught up to the guy.

Swiftly he followed the same path Jennings had taken, and just before he made the same right turn, heard scuffling coming from around the corner. Slowing, he pulled his gun and turned, yelling "LAPD" as he did.

What he found made his heart nearly sink to the floor. Jennings had Kensi, with one arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, a knife held to the very vulnerable skin at her neck. Her gun was nowhere to be seen.

Raising his weapon, he pointed it at the man and pushed aside the fear coursing through him. Fear for her would only cause him to do something supremely stupid, and put her at greater risk. "Put it down, now."

"No way!" he yelled. "No way…I let her go and I'm dead."

Deeks shrugged nonchalantly as if the extremely large knife held to Kensi's neck meant nothing, when in fact, the complete opposite was true. "Don't let her go and you're dead, either way man…"

That's when Deeks noticed the blood, red and thick, dripping from Kensi's fingers onto the pavement. Slowly his eyes followed the trail up her left arm to an ugly gash on the inside of her upper arm that was flowing freely. Deeks purposely avoided meeting her eyes directly, worried if he did that his determination to be professional and not allow emotions to cloud his actions would disintegrate.

_Shit, shit, shit, _his brain was screaming but he didn't let his face show at thing.

"Look, Jennings, you're not getting out of this. Either you leave with us, or you leave in a bag."

Jennings pressed the knife into her skin a bit more and a small line of blood blossomed onto Kensi's neck.

"Don't do this, man…I'm really not in the mood for the paperwork…" Deeks said and finally met Kensi's eyes. If anything she looked pissed at being turned into a hostage, but behind that there was something else…fear, maybe?

Silent communication ran between the partners and she nodded imperceptibly. Straightening up his stance and taking a deep breath, Deeks let out a long. "Ohhhay."

As the last syllable came out of his mouth, Kensi suddenly brought up one arm, pushing the knife away from her neck, which allowed Deeks the opportunity to fire a shot that found its mark in their suspects shoulder.

The man dropped like a stone to the ground, holding his wounded shoulder, writhing in agony. Meanwhile, Kensi leaned against the closest wall, watching as Deeks handcuffed their guy.

"I need an ambulance, man!" he was screaming.

Deeks merely gave him a look. "You'll get one when I'm good and ready to call one, idiot."

Turning to Kensi, he quickly unbuttoned and pulled off his plaid shirt, folding it in thirds before firmly wrapping it around her arm to slow the blood. "You ok?"

She nodded mutely and placed additional pressure on his shirt over the wound. It stung like hell, but she'd had worse.

That accomplished he pulled out his cell and called the Mission, who he knew would have an ambulance out here faster than he could by calling 911.

"I froze…" she said after a long silence and very, very quietly.

It was so quiet, he wasn't sure he heard her. "What?"

"I…froze. I saw him in the alley…I approached, he rushed me…pushed me up against the wall and I…froze." She looked at him with this sad, desperate expression. "When he had me pushed against the brick I…it felt like Anderson all over and I froze. That's how he got the drop on me."

"Kensi…" he started.

"I can't believe I did that. Anderson was what? Six months ago?"

Deeks literally didn't know what to say, and the sound of approaching police and ambulance cut short any reply he might have come up with.

In short order the EMT's had determined her cut was severe enough to warrant a trip to the hospital and they loaded her in the ambulance despite loud protests.

Callen and Sam had showed up shortly after LAPD and taken their man to the boatshed to interrogate, leaving him to retrieve Kensi's car and follow his partner to the hospital. And for the entire drive he berated himself for not having an answer for her, for not being able to provide some kind of comfort. The look on her face upon verbalizing what had happened was one of pure shock; clearly she couldn't believe her mind could betray her at such a critical moment.

In a daze, he followed instructions to the treatment room she was in and pushed aside the curtain as the nurse was wrapping her arm.

"There you go…let me get the discharge paperwork and the medication the doctor prescribed and you will be all set to leave."

"Thanks," she replied dully and ran her fingers across the white gauze.

Deeks nodded at the nurse as she passed before sitting on the rolling stool next to the bed. "We need to stop meeting like this," he finally said.

She smiled gently at him before looking at the ceiling. "It is getting to be a bad habit."

"That it is," he replied before picking up her right hand and twining their fingers. "What happened back there, Kensi? It could happen to anyone, and it does. Despite what you want to believe, your…encounter with Anderson was traumatic. And if Nate was here he would give some psycho-babble that I'll put into laymen's terms for you. It was bound to happen."

She looked at him sharply. "You're telling me that I was bound to screw up?"

He sighed before that serious expression of his covered his face. "No. I'm telling you that having a flashback to that night was…inevitable. Every one of us has that moment. The first time I accidently shot a bystander, I fell apart. The guy survived, but he was in the hospital for a week and PT for over a month. I was cleared; the guy stepped right into a firefight at the wrong moment. The next time I had to pull my gun with bystanders around I couldn't function. I panicked. The suspect would have gotten away if my partner hadn't taken care of it."

She seemed to consider that a moment before asking, "What did you do after that?"

"I kept it in the back of my head that every time we try to apprehend a suspect in public, the risk is there. And now that I know it _can _happen, I'm more vigilant about making sure it _doesn't_. You can't pretend it didn't happen, you have to embrace it, accept the fact that you might be put into a similar situation again and be prepared so next time…you don't freeze. It gets easier."

She nodded, clearly considering his words, and a comfortable silence fell between them, their hands still joined. Eventually his thumb started absently stroking her knuckles and in response she squeezed his fingers gently, letting him know the action was welcome.

After the nurse returned with her discharge papers and pain medications and had left, Deeks stood and held out a hand to her, which she took and got down from the bed.

Before she could start to walk away he pulled her into a hug, it didn't take long before she relaxed into him, resting her head on his chest. They stood that way for several minutes, lost in a world that was just them for a little while.

Eventually he released her, but not before kissing her temple soundly.

She looked up at him. "You're a good partner, Deeks."

"I know."

"Modest, too."

He swung one arm carefully around her shoulders. "Terribly. You'll note I haven't mentioned once that I, yet again, saved your ass."

"It's killing you isn't it?" she asked as he guided them out of the hospital.

"More than you know," he said and pulled her into him a little tighter.

* * *

The next chapter should be up in about 2 weeks, it's a long one…


	6. Life Starts Now

Thank you again for those who took the time to review, as always…appreciated, please continue. This chapter was…challenging to say the least. Writing dialogue without a lot of action is not my strong suit as a writer. But here we have it, an entire chapter with our fav characters in Deeks' apartment. Plus, they might go a little OOC here, but that's just the progression of this story and the events at the beginning of the chapter. I just hope I didn't go too off the rails…

_You say you feel so down,  
Every time I turn around  
You say you should've  
Been gone by now,  
You think that everything's wrong,  
Ask me how to carry on,  
We'll make it through  
Another day  
Just hold on_Life Starts Now, Three Days Grace

Cause life starts now,  
You've done all the things  
That could kill you somehow  
And you're so far down  
But you will survive this  
Somehow because  
Life starts now

I hate to see you fall down,  
I'll pick you up off the ground,  
I've watched the weight of  
Your world come down  
And now it's your chance  
To move on, change the way you've lived for so long,  
Find the strength you've had inside all along

Cause life starts now,  
You've done all the things  
That could kill you somehow  
And you're so far down  
But you will survive this  
Somehow because  
Life starts now

* * *

Chapter Six: Life Starts Now

Rolling over and glancing at the clock, Deeks noted three things; it was just after one am, the thunderstorms that had been pelting LA all day were still going strong and the sound of knocking was coming from his door. Though for a moment he wasn't sure if maybe he had mistaken thunder for knocking.

Until it happened again, this time sharper and more insistent.

Grumbling and half alseep, he got out of bed and headed to the door, gun held loosely in one hand. Looking through the peephole, he paused in surprise before pulling open the door with a groggy, "Kensi, wha-"

"He's dead." Her voice was flat, emotionless.

Now he was awake. "Who? What-"

"Jack…" she managed to squeak out.

That's when he noticed her appearance. She was soaking wet, her cotton hoodie doing nothing to deter the torrential rain. Hair clung to her head, tendrils stuck to her face haphazardly, make-up running down her cheeks, her eyes puffy red from crying. And she was shaking, God was she shaking. From cold or shock he wasn't quite sure.

Despite the warm summer temperatures during the day, the storm had ushered in cooler air that night and it was in the low sixties - if she was lucky. Far too cold to be standing in the rain for extended periods.

Quickly he ushered her in, closing and locking the door after setting down the gun.

Water literally dripped off every part of her. "Hold on," he said and ran down the hall, retrieving two large towels.

By the time he returned she was trying to unzip her boots, but was failing because clearly her fingers were too cold to follow direction.

"How long were you out there?" he asked and placed one towel over her head before leaning down to remove her boots and socks. Her toes were already turning blue. _Jesus Kensi…_

"I don't…I don't know," she replied without actually focusing on him.

Gently he started drying her hair. "Ok…ok." It didn't take Deeks long to realize that all the towel drying in the world wasn't going to help. "Come on…" he said and guided her down the hall through his bedroom and into the bath, where he turned on the shower to a warm-ish temperature.

Conversation could wait at this point; he was far more concerned with getting his partner warm and comfortable. Besides, he got the idea. She must have gone looking for her former fiancée only to find he was dead. Though this seemed to be an extreme reaction, especially for her.

Setting the towel on the counter, he pulled the zipper down on her hoodie and pushed the soaked material off her; it was so wet he could have literally rung it out in the sink. Just the fact she was allowing him to do this without complaint or comment scared him more than even the pale tint to her skin.

Except now he was at a standstill and unsure how far to push his luck. He had never encountered a pliant Kensi Blye and he wasn't sure if attempting to remove her jeans would cause her to suddenly break out of whatever stupor she was in and suddenly deck him. Looking at her, he noted she seemed to be focusing on him at least, and yet she still was not an active participant in his actions, merely watching as he took the lead. It was as if she simply didn't care enough to move, content to be lost in her thoughts and freezing clothes.

So instead he stated his intention, "We need to get you out of these jeans." And then proceeded to unbuckle her belt before she took over, easily undoing the button and zipper before forcing the material to the floor of his bathroom with a wet splat.

She didn't stop him, though, as his hands slid under her blue tank top (and if she _looked _cold, she _felt_ much colder) and pushed the material up and over her head. It was an intimate act, but in that moment his intentions were as far from intimate as they could be and it was certainly not the way he had pictured getting his partner out of her clothes.

Left in just her bra and panties, Kensi started to really shiver in earnest.

"Ok, this is where I draw the line. I'll come back in five and get your clothes, I'd recommend being in the shower by then or else I make no promises about my behavior." That earned him a small smile at least and he quickly checked the water temperature was comfortable before pulling the door closed behind him.

Deeks waited outside the door until the telltale sound of the shower curtain told him she had at least stepped in.

For the briefest of moments he considered calling Callen, he had known Kensi the longest and would know what to do with this Bizzaro version of her. Then again, if Kensi wanted Callen to know or help, she would have gone to him instead of showing up at his doorstep. No, tonight it would be just them and later Kensi could decide how much to divulge to others.

Glancing at the clock he opened the door and stepped in, placing new clothes on the counter before picking up the wet ones quickly and without glancing at the shower.

Heading to the small washer/dryer combo in his apartment, as Deeks tossed the pile in the dryer he noticed an envelope in an inside pocket of her hoodie. He pulled it out, noting that just the edges were damp, and on the envelope was Kensi's name in precise block letters. It was unopened.

Suddenly Deeks wondered if whatever else had happened today had been the final act that started to unwind her world. While she was, by far, the most serious person he had ever met, Deeks had known cops like her. And when a person was that intense all the time, when they finally did break, it wasn't a pretty picture. Especially if they didn't have someone to help them pick up the pieces; he refused to let her go down that path alone. He would be there for her no matter what. Because that's what partners did, and even more than that, it's what friends did.

* * *

She stepped out of the shower, feeling warmer and better than she had in hours and smiled at the pile of clothes he had left her. Some of the shock of learning of Jacks death and the circumstances around it had started to wear off and her head felt clearer, though there was oppressive sadness and anger that fought over her emotional state.

Getting dressed, the blue pajama bottoms had to be rolled up several times to keep the material from falling off her slender hips, and the tank top he provided was clearly his, but had also obviously been shrunk in the dryer – which was why it fit her perfectly. Pulling on the gray LAPD long-sleeved cotton shirt, she took a deep breath and inhaled his distinctly Deeks scent. And it reassured her, more than she ever could have imagined.

Stepping out of the bath, she took in his darkened bedroom; it was the exact opposite of what she would expect from him. Based on his general laid-back attitude she would have thought he would be more…messy. Instead the bedroom was pin neat. Not an item out of order, very little on the horizontal surfaces, the bed was even made to perfection; his furniture was dark and contemporary, the linens dark as well. Looking back into the bathroom she noted the same thing; most people had at least a couple things randomly left on the counter – brushes, hair product, or even deodorant. Not Deeks, the only items out where his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Walking into the hall, she followed it into the living room and as she crossed the threshold he stepped around a large island with two glasses and what looked like a bottle of liquor in his hand. Smiling broadly he indicated her attire with his head.

"Looks better on you then it ever did on me."

Pushing hair behind her ear, she looked down, almost embarrassed now at her behavior earlier. At the time she just didn't know what to do and her body had brought her to him without any real decision making. Now out of the rain, and a little farther removed from the surprise of it all she wondered if this was a good idea.

"Come on…" he said and nodded at his couch, setting down the items in his hands on a small coffee table. Yep…it was liquor, tequila specifically.

Again her feet moved seemingly without her actually deciding anything, and she stepped fully into the room, noting the same thing she had in his bed and bath. Everything was neat and clean, the furniture again leaned toward dark woods and fabrics. There were few, if any knick knacks on the flat surfaces, it was almost sterile. That's when it hit her, there were no pictures. Not a single one of family or friends or hell, even a pet. Even she had several photos of her and her father scattered throughout her place. Kensi wondered how she had missed that the last time she was in his apartment, filling the fridge with beer and Jell-o. Then again, she hadn't really _looked _around the apartment at the time, feeling that was a little too much like invading her partner's privacy since he didn't know she was there.

As she moved to the couch, he reached out and cupped her cheek gently, looking deep into her eyes. "You ok?"

The lighting from soft yellow pendants over the island that just reached into the living area was enough that she could see the concern in his deep blue eyes.

"I'm…" she debated saying "fine", but in the end decided to tell the truth. "…better."

Then she knew that yes, this was a good idea. Because despite the insanity-driving neatness of his place, it was comfortable and she felt safe here; then again, maybe it wasn't the place, but the company. Either way she didn't care, this was where she wanted to be right now.

Settling into the corner of the couch with one leg tucked under her, Kensi watched as her partner poured out a small amount of tequila into each of the glasses before handing her one and sitting in the opposite corner of the couch with the other. "Drink, if nothing else it'll help warm you up."

She nodded and tipped the glass back, the alcohol burning her throat as it went down.

A long comfortable silence fell between them, him unwilling to push and her debating the best way to explain the events that brought her to his doorstep at one am and soaking wet. Clearly he read the confusion on her face and prodded gently.

"First…why didn't you use the key I gave you after my shooting?"

"I gave it back last week; it was on your desk."

"Did you actually _look _at my desk?"

Kensi recalled the papers that covered nearly every surface – in complete contrast to his apartment. "Ahhh…"

"I'm sure it's there…and I'll probably find it. Probably…"

Silence again fell between them and Kensi just stared at the empty glass she had placed on the table, lost in thought. She was sad, confused, angry and oddly relieved all at the same time and she couldn't focus on one emotion long enough to analyze it.

"When did you start looking?" he finally asked as an especially loud rumble of thunder sounded overhead.

"Three weeks ago, right after the run in with Jennings. What you said…in the hospital, about not leaving things alone, about pretending things don't happen." She shrugged. "I guess I took that to mean Jack as well. So I asked Nell to quietly do some searching when she had time. Earlier today she called me with a lawyers name that was on a will filed with the state, guess she didn't have the heart to break it to me he was dead."

Deeks leaned forward, his attention focused on her. "Can't blame her…you can be pretty scary."

She took that for what it was, an intentionally bad attempt at humor. "I called the lawyer and they asked me to come by. I knew…" She blew out a long breath and her voice started to choke up. "I knew it couldn't be good."

"When?" he asked quietly and moved subtly closer to her, pouring another small shot of tequila, but leaving it on the table.

"Umm…well, apparently he did try to look for me about two years after he left, but that was shortly after I joined NCIS, had left the apartment we shared and rented a new one under the assumed name Hetty gave me. There wasn't a trace of me to find." Now she sniffled and picked up the glass, tossing back the liquid quickly.

Deeks noted her dodge of the question, but didn't press.

"I guess it was about six months after that he…died." She looked at him with sorrow and guilt filled eyes and he moved ever closer. "I just…picked up and moved on with my life. If I had stayed in the apartment…"

A flash of anger moved through Deeks at that. "He abandoned you first, Kens. You tried everything you could to be there for him and for whatever reason that wasn't enough. And it was two years. You couldn't have waited forever in the hope that maybe one day he would come back."

"Maybe I could have helped him if I had been there!" Anger was clearly coming through now.

"You don't know that…"

"Maybe I could have stopped him…"

Now Deeks was confused. "Stopped him?"

She pinned him with an angry glare. "He killed himself Deeks! He ate his gun one night..."

Deeks lips made an "O" shape, but no sound came out, what could he possibly say to that?

"Maybe if I had been there, maybe if I tried harder he wouldn't have…I promised him Deeks, I promised that I would do anything for him."

Tears now flowed freely down her face and his heart broke for her. Reaching out slowly, he rested his hand on the back of her neck and gently pulled her body into his, her head resting on his chest as she started to sob. As he wrapped his arms around her and slowly started rubbing her back he felt her small fingers grip the front of his shirt almost frantically. After several minutes she pulled away and Deeks was confused by the anger he saw.

"He's dead, I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't get to tell him how hard I tried, how angry I was when he left that he just threw that all away. How much I loved him, how much his leaving hurt me."

"Don't do this to yourself, please."

"I can't help it, Deeks. He was my first love, the first man I wanted to settle down with, that I thought maybe a family was in my future." She reached up and wiped away the tears that were flowing down her face. "I actually pictured kids, the white picket fence and the whole suburbia thing. And then one morning, it was all gone."

Deeks squeezed one of her shoulders before walking over to the kitchen island and grabbing the envelope he had found earlier.

Sitting back down, he handed it to her and watched while her fingers trailed lightly over her name. "I can leave if you want to read it alone."

She shook her head. "No, stay."

Nodding, he looked away as she opened the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper. After several minutes Deeks heard the paper go back into the envelope and he turned back to her, new tears had formed in the corners of her eyes.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," she said and put her head on the back of the couch so she could stare at the ceiling. "I think I'd like to just…keep it to myself right now."

"Ok," he replied and turned to his side on the couch, placing the side of his face on the back, so he could watch her. After a few silent minutes he reached up and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.

Slowly she turned her head and body to face him, both their heads still resting on the back of the couch. The reason she couldn't completely give herself to Deeks tumbled through her head. Abandonment issues, is how Nate would classify it for sure. And that was precisely it, she was petrified of giving herself so completely to someone again and having them walk out – leaving her in pieces. She could only do that so many times in a lifetime.

"Everyone leaves me, Deeks." She suddenly blurted out.

He lifted his head. "What are you talking about?"

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and dove in headfirst. "My Dad, Jack, Dom. Hell, Callen tried. I couldn't handle it if you left me too. It's one thing if you just aren't my partner anymore – I could live with that if you were still around; it's another thing for you to just…disappear out of my life entirely never to be seen again."

"I would never leave you." Was his instantaneous and completely wrong answer, and he knew it the second the words left his mouth.

She shook her head. "You can't say that, you don't know that."

He sighed. "You're right, I can't guarantee that. I can't make you a promise that I will always be here because hell Kensi, I can't see into the future any more than you. If I could I'd have the lotto numbers by now. But you can't keep pushing people away because you're afraid of losing them."

"It's worked so far. At least until you."

"Until me?"

"You are the first person since Jack that I've wanted to let in, that I've wanted to ignore that screaming in my head that you'll leave too. And it's so frustrating Deeks, because I don't _need _people, but…I think I need you."

He moved closer to her, and cupped her jaw with his hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I think I need you too," he mumbled as they drew closer and his nose nudged hers before he kissed her tenderly.

Pulling away, he left his hand on her cheek, pushing some strands of hair off her face slowly, allowing his fingers to touch as much of her as possible. Deeks had a feeling this was _the_ moment in their personal relationship where they either moved forward or said goodbye and remained professional partners.

Leaning into his touch she spoke quietly. "I don't want to push you away, don't let me."

Forward it was.

"I won't."

Silence again reigned for a few moments before she spoke again, this time voicing her curiosity about something. "Why don't you have pictures?" An indescribable expression crossed his face as his hand dropped from her face and she immediately backpedaled, sensing she had opened an old wound. "I'm sorry, never mind."

"No, no…it's ok. You want to know why I don't have pictures?" he asked while surveying the apartment as if he had never noticed before.

"Yeah, I do…" she said softly.

"Ok," he said and looked at her. "I'll start with this…my given name is Michael Brandel."

The last name instantly clicked in her head and she whispered, "Oh…Deeks..."

"The man I shot when I was eleven? That was my father. He came at me with a shotgun…"

"Thanksgiving…" was all Kensi could get out.

"Thanksgiving." He repeated. "My Dad was all the family I had; such as it was. After that I bounced around homes. Changed my name when I turned sixteen."

Now it was her turn to move closer to him on the couch, her fingers reaching out and touching the scruff on his jaw. "I'm sorry."

His face took on a hard expression. "Don't be, he died twelve years ago in a car accident, Hetty told me after the run in with Vakar."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I am. My father was a drunk and an asshole, and oh yeah, he tried to kill me. Can't say I'm that upset."

"We are two seriously screwed up people, you know that?" she finally asked.

"No kidding."

As he shifted to face forward on the couch she scooted into his side, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her.

"I'm glad you came to me, Kensi."

"Me too…" she said and yawned.

"Come on," he said and suddenly stood, holding out one hand to her. "Let's go to bed."

There was no discussion, no debate, not a word spoken about the sleeping arrangements, she simply followed him to his bedroom, pulled off the long sleeved shirt and climbed into his bed. He stripped down to his boxers and tank top and slid in behind her, pulling her body into his, leaving his arm draped around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Kensi," he said into the dark. "And I can promise, in this moment in time, I would never voluntarily leave you."

She rolled over in his arms to face him. "That's all I can ask. Jack will always be a part of me, but I think I realize now that there isn't anything I could have done. He was… seriously disturbed when he left. And I think…no, I know, that he wouldn't want me to be alone."

"I may not have met Jack, but I don't think he would want that either."

Quietly she tucked herself under his chin, resting her forehead on his chest and relaxed into his warm body. As she drifted to sleep, Kensi felt him tighten his hold on her. And for the first time in a long time she thought that maybe, just maybe, she could open herself up again.

* * *

The late morning sun streaming through the cracks in his dark drapes alerted Kensi to the fact that they had seriously slept in. If she remembered right, though, they hadn't crawled into his bed until four am, so the indulgence could be excused.

And still, she didn't want to get up, because right now she was curled into her partners side, her head on his arm, one of her hands flat on his chest. And again, that Deeks scent surrounded her and all she wanted to do was stay in this bed, with this man, for the rest of the day, and forget yesterday.

Suddenly he shifted and rolled toward her, opening his eyes.

"Hey," his voice was husky with sleep.

"Hey," she replied and pushed some errant hairs off his face.

"Yep, I was right. Definitely a face I could get used to waking up to."

"If you're lucky, that is," she replied with a smile.

"Oh, I have very good luck; extremely good really. It's unfair how much luck I have."

"Hilarious," she mumbled and placed her forehead on his chest, not yet willing to face the day. When Deeks started twirling the ends of her hair, however, she knew he had something on his mind. "What's up?" she finally asked and lifted her head so she could see his face.

"You ok?"

"I will be, yeah."

He nodded at that. "Kensi…about us…"

"I think I made my thoughts clear last night."

"You did…" he wasn't really sure how to explain this, but thankfully his astute partner picked up on his confusion.

"But we seemed to have crossed a line we didn't discuss since I stayed the night in your bed. With you."

"I would have added and you're wearing my clothes, but yeah, essentially."

Now she smiled at him, this man was a contradiction in terms. Carefree and fun on the outside, but deep down clearly needed some definition of their relationship. Which, given his history, she wasn't that surprised about.

"Why don't we take it slow, see where it goes. No pressure, no expectations, no demands. I don't see a reason to define this."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I'm cool with that. As long as I'm the only one you aren't defining things with."

"That I can assure you." For Kensi that was as strong a statement she could make. "One rule though."

"Ok, sure."

"This stays out of the office; one hundred percent. I can't be worried about you doing something stupid if something happens in the field."

"Don't you mean heroic?"

"Deeks…" she warned.

"Deal. No stupidity at work."

She snorted at that. "Yeah, right."

Suddenly his eyes went wide and he propped his head up with one hand, hovering over her. "What about NCIS? Aren't there…rules or something about this type of thing?"

"Well...if you want to get technical about it _Detective_, you aren't NCIS. You're our liaison officer. So no…there aren't any rules."

"Ooooh, I like it," he said and leaned in, kissing her gently on the lips. After trailing along the soft skin of her jaw, dropping kisses here and there, his head suddenly popped up again. "What about Hetty? No, wait! What about Callen and Sam? I'm dead meat…"

"Deeks, relax. Hetty probably knew before we did." She reached up and kissed him on the shoulder. "I can handle Sam and Callen."

He looked at her skeptically. "Are you sure about that? Because I'm really fond of the current arrangement of my face and would hate to do anything to change that."

"Mmmmm…I'm sure…" she muttered into his neck.

He suddenly pulled back. "You know…this is not taking it slow right now; I think we need to get out of this bed before something happens. I'm hungry…let me take you out to eat."

At the mention of food her stomach started grumbling loudly, Kensi honestly couldn't remember the last time she had eaten a real meal. "Deal," she said and started to pull away before turning back to him, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "And really? Marty Deeks? You get to choose your own name and _that's _what you come up with?"

"Hey!" He protested and got out of the bed. "I was sixteen at the time, and I still like it. It fits me."

"That it does," she said with a smirk and followed him out of the bed. It amazed her how easily they were able to move between joking and seriousness; she supposed it was the balance in their personalities.

They moved through a morning routine easily, each getting dressed and presentable with little discussion.

As they stepped out of his apartment Deeks suddenly spoke. "I'd like to hear about Jack, when you're ready."

For a moment he thought he saw tears shimmer in her eyes before she answered. "I'd like to do that."

* * *

Ok, readers, that's the end of the planned chapters, not to say there won't be more…but it might get a bit more sporadic as I wait for the ideas to marinate in my head. One question though…would there be any interest in an M-rated chapter? Do you want to see the actual hook up? Cause you know its going to happen.


	7. Caught in the Rain

Well, I can honestly say I did not anticipate having this chapter up so fast, but these two are so much fun to write for I couldn't help it. That said, this is a weird one case wise…and from here on in, any "cases" are merely tools to move the relationship along, details of them will be scarce, just enough so the action makes sense. I guess I'm saying don't sweat the cases, they aren't the point (not that they were before really, just felt compelled to reiterate).

Also, timeline. I'm hoping I'm keeping the timeline of this clear (I try dropping hints along the way), if I'm not let me know, especially since this chapter pushes us into the future. Anyway…too much yammering, on with the show….

_Trading thoughts  
Across from the room  
I saw you surrounded  
I was caught in the rain  
Wasting my time on the ground  
Feeling us fall  
Without an escape  
I almost let you down  
Well, I was caught in the rain  
Wasting my time on the ground_

It was you  
who could get me high  
With whatever you say  
Telling me something real  
What we do  
It doesn't matter now  
When I was caught in the rain  
You made me feel

Caught in the Rain, Revis

* * *

Chapter Seven: Caught in the Rain

Of course he would follow her to the gun range. Of course he wouldn't just let it go like she wanted him to. Of course he would stand right behind her as she got off the last of her shots into the center of the target.

Of course he would.

Setting the gun down, she slowly pulled off the ear protectors in a lame attempt to avoid the conversation she knew was coming. And didn't want to have. Because this was part of the reason she was so hesitant to commit to something more than just work partners with him.

"I'll stand here all day. And I'm blocking the door." He stated simply.

"I know…" she said and turned to face him. _Oh crap_, she thought upon noticing the serious expression on his face.

"That was….supremely dumb. What you did today."

"I had to Deeks…"

"No, I don't think you did. I think there was another way; you just…leapt without thinking. Literally."

"If I hadn't done it our suspect would still be out there."

"We would have found him eventually. You didn't need to _step in front of a moving car."_

"He didn't hit me…"

Deeks moved closer to her and reached out quickly, touching the extremely sensitive skin on her side. Immediately she hissed and tried to pull away, but she was already pressed against the small ledge in the stall.

"No, but he clipped you and sent you sliding across the concrete sidewalk."

"Oh my God, Deeks. Let it go. I'm fine."

"No."

"Why?"

"Really, you're going to ask me why?"

She stood straighter and gave him an angry glare. "We agreed to leave that out of the workplace, Deeks. _You_ agreed."

Sudden anger flashed across his face and Kensi nearly recoiled, she could count on one hand how many times she had seen Deeks truly angry, and until now, not one had been directed at her.

He took another step toward her until they were well within each other's personal space. "I am having this conversation with you as your partner, Kensi. Nothing more. I understand that this job has more risks then average and I know that sometimes you have to go the extra mile – as dangerous as that mile may be. But dammit, Kens, you did NOT have to do what you did today. It was unnecessary and reckless."

"I did what I had to," she restated, though even she could admit her argument was pathetic.

"You know, for someone who is so concerned about people leaving her, you sure don't seem to mind putting that fear into others."

Anger resurfaced in her. "Not fair, Deeks."

"It is and you know it. We put our lives in danger enough for this job; you shouldn't feel compelled to do it for no reason."

Staring into his eyes, she saw the worry that was fueling his anger and she backed down. Because, damn him, he was right, what she did today was…dumb.

Looking down momentarily, she mumbled an "I'm sorry."

Deeks moved even closer to her, one hand cupping his ear. "I don't think I heard that…"

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry, you jackass."

"I'll take it," he shrugged.

Looking around him she glanced at the door. "You gonna move?"

"I kinda like it right where I am…" he said quietly and cupped her cheek.

"Deeks…" she warned.

"It's eight at night, no one is here except us," he said and leaned in for a kiss. Two hands placed firmly on his chest stopped forward motion, however.

"And Callen, and Sam and Hetty. And didn't we also agree none of this at work?"

Suddenly there was a mischievous glint in his eye. "Come on. Haven't you ever thought about making out in the range?"

Her sudden silence spoke volumes and Deeks backed up, laughing. "You have! I don't believe it!"

"You just don't know when to quit, do you?" she asked and turned back to gather her things. It wasn't a moment after that that his body was almost flush against her back, his hands firmly on her hips.

"I really don't," he mumbled into the skin of her neck before kissing it gently several times. He felt her shudder involuntarily under him and quickly stepped back, denying her further contact.

She spun on him, her face flushed with excitement and her eyes filled with irritation and frustration.

"What? You said not here."

"I hate you," she said and stepped around him, hanging up the ear protection.

"No you don't," he sing-songed after her.

Just as she got to the door, Kensi twirled around. "Payback is a bitch, Deeks. Don't forget it."

Suddenly he was very, very worried.

* * *

"We got a lead on the Ghost!" Eric yelled from his spot atop the stairs as Kensi and Deeks returned from the gun range.

"It's been six months," Sam said as a grainy picture was pulled up on the screen. It was clearly their man, despite the poor quality.

"Nearly seven," Hetty corrected. "One of Deeks' contacts spotted him at one of the higher class hotels in LA."

"Doing business…" Callen added.

"Probable," the older woman responded.

"I have to admit, using prostitutes to exchange sensitive information is…creative." Callen responded.

"Well, they don't tend to ask many questions," Kensi supplied.

"They probably don't realize what they are handing over on the USB drives. It's just part of the evenings…transactions," added Deeks.

"And since the girls never meet the Ghost in person, its perfect, no one knows who he is. Not even the buyers."

"So go get him." Hetty stated simply.

"Room 1269," Eric called out as the group walked out the door.

* * *

Kensi stood on the landing of the north stairwell of the hotel, peeking through the small window of the door; she had the Ghosts room in sight. _"Callen, Sam. We have a visual on the room."_

"_Copy, give us 10, we got held up."_

"_Copy," _she replied just as the door to the suite opened. _"Uh, guys…we have moment, doors open…and he's exiting. One man with him…armed."_

"_Hold!" _Callen called. _"Give us five."_

"_He'll be gone in five, Callen," _Kensi stated simply

"_Hold Kensi, he sees cops and he's more likely to just start shooting. We need to outnumber him to avoid collateral damage."_

Kensi shifted and looked back at Deeks. "We need to slow him down."

Looking back, the Ghost and his bodyguard were heading toward the elevator. Making a quick decision, Kensi opened the Velcro on her vest and pulled it over her head. Then she pulled off her t-shirt to reveal a tight, lace tank top, and removed the ponytail holder from her hair, shaking out the tresses until they looked suitably sexy.

"Bad idea," Deeks said slowly as she handed him her primary gun, though he knew she kept a spare at her ankle.

"What's the other choice? Got my back?" she asked Deeks and he nodded as she slipped through the door and followed their mark down the hall.

Deeks watched as she snagged an unopened bottle of beer from a room service cart, twisted off the top and quickly downed half the liquid, adding a little wobble to her step.

Kensi held the bottle loosely in one hand and ran awkwardly down the hall, calling out "Wait, wait!" in her best drunk voice. As the men turned, she put on a megawatt smile and met them just as they got to the elevator. "Hey, thanks. Didn't want to miss the elevator, trying to catch my friends."

"No problem," the Ghost responded and she watched as he looked her up and down in a creepy way. It was appreciative for sure, but she also got the impression he was…sizing her up.

"You guys here on business?" she asked in a flirty tone and at their confused look she clarified. "You are wearing suits in June in LA, on a Friday night." She leaned into the Ghost and whispered. "No one does that…"

"I do…" he said as Callen chirped in her ear, _"We're good. On three. One…two…three…"_

As the three hit, Kensi suddenly took the beer bottle that was still dangling in her hand and smashed the bodyguard in the right temple with it, knocking him out. She reached in a grabbed his gun out of its holster; turning back she pointed it at the Ghost, only to find a similar weapon pointed at her.

"Now what?" she asked, aware that the guys would be coming around the corner any second.

"Now…I will take that gun. My bodyguard never loads his."

That's when she realized that yes; the gun did seem too light to be fully loaded. Taking her chances, she shot off a round in the direction of the Ghosts shoulder, only to have nothing happen.

Quickly he grabbed her around the wrist and pulled her body into him as the guys came into view, their guns trained on the pair. The Ghost moved her more fully in front of his body and pressed the gun to her side, making it clear to the men on her team that one shot and she would be dead.

"Let her go." Callen finally said. "You won't make it far."

"I'll make it far enough. Follow me and all you'll find is her body." he said and pulled her, turning the corner and pushing the door open to the stairwell. As he struggled to simultaneously open the door and keep a solid grip on her, Kensi took advantage and slammed her head into his chin. The man pulled away just enough that she was again able to shove him back, only this time, he grabbed onto her arm and flung her viciously into the concrete wall of the landing, her already sore side screaming in protest.

The Ghost took off to the stairs and she gave chase, catching up at the next turn in the stairway, slamming her body into his and pushing him hard into the wall. Before she could get in the final blow, he pushed her back hard into the railing and she had to grip it tightly to keep momentum from sending her over. Instead, she reversed direction and placed one solid kick to the center of his chest, sending him back into the wall…head first. The Ghost crumpled to the ground moaning as she heard the door above them open.

"Kensi!" she heard her partner call.

"Here," she responded and stood over the other man, her backup gun in hand.

"You ok?" Deeks asked and she nodded.

"I'm good."

"Two collars in one day, Kens, impressive." Callen stated as he and Sam handcuffed their suspect. "One more and you join the club."

"Awesome," she replied dryly.

* * *

"Adam Barrett," Sam started, and threw the folder down on the table.

Kensi and Deeks watched as Sam and Callen easily broke down the man before them, finally convincing him that his only hope to avoid death was to help them catch the buyer.

Shifting in her seat, Kensi let out an involuntarily moan at the ache in her side. Wordlessly, her partner got up, went over to the small freezer and pulled out an ice pack they kept for just these occasions.

Instead of handing it to her, he placed the pack – now wrapped in a towel – on the table and kneeled before her. She knew where this was going.

Making sure that Callen and Sam were still occupied, he gently pulled up her t-shirt and tank, exposing her side. A sharp hiss came from his lips as he took in the road rash from the run in earlier that day which had scabbed over but was still bright red and severely bruised; though he couldn't tell if the bruising was from the run in with Barrett or the car. It had been an insane day and they both knew it was far from over.

Finally he handed her the ice pack and she placed it gently on the bruise, continuing to watch Sam and Callen.

"So…what's the club?" Deeks finally asked.

"Huh?" she asked, clearly distracted by the monitor.

"Callen said one more collar and you join the club."

She waved a hand dismissively. "It's…if you get three collars in one 24 hour period you join the club. It's supposed to be good luck, I don't buy it."

"What kind of luck?"

"I don't know Deeks…not a member," she replied tiredly, Kensi was past ready for this day to be over.

"Is Callen?"

"Yep."

"Sam?"

"Nope."

"Interesting."

"If you say so."

Suddenly she turned the volume up on the TV, to hear Barrett divulge what they needed.

"There was a drop off scheduled for eleven…tonight."

Kensi sighed loudly, knowing perfectly well that an undercover mission was in her near future. Specifically forty-five minutes.

"Let's go, Deeks," she said and stood gently. "I've got thirty minutes to look like a prostitute."

"I love this job…" Echoed behind her.

* * *

Kensi gripped her clutch as she walked through the lobby of the hotel, turning heads in a deep red, short dress and mile high black heels. Actually, she practically strutted with all the confidence in the world and she even made eye contact with some of the men who openly stared. Deeks wasn't sure how she did it, but somehow Kensi projected the image of a high class call girl.

Following behind her dressed in khakis and an untucked polo shirt, he shadowed his partner all the way to the elevator where they got in and she pushed thirteen. They barely spared at glance at each other until the doors closed, then Deeks stared at her openly.

"Stop staring," she said and pulled lipstick out of the clutch, applying it carefully.

"I don't think I can," he replied.

She ignored that. "You know the drill, stay back, wait for the signal."

"Check," he said reached under his shirt, confirming the presence of his sig. "Careful."

"Hey, I'm going for lucky number three tonight."

"Surprisingly, that doesn't make me feel better."

Collar three had gone shockingly easy, especially since the short bald man in the room waiting for her insisted he was paid to pick up the drive then take it to a bus depot and leave it in locker 30. They had no reason not to believe him since a quick search revealed no police record and no unusual financial transactions prior to that evening when he was paid half of the five grand.

As she stripped off the dress in the dressing room, Kensi let out a loud sigh; this was not how she had pictured spending the night. Instead she had been hoping to maybe have dinner with Deeks, go home and then several hours of solid sleep. Now it was near midnight and _her _day was nearly done.

Even entry into the club hadn't buoyed her mood.

"Almost ready?" her partner's voice called from the other side of the curtain.

"Yeah," she called and pulled her t-shirt on. Putting her belt through the loops, she pushed aside the curtain to find Deeks leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for her.

"Hungry?"

"Not really, Deeks," she said sheepishly, feeling bad for cancelling on him. This week they had barely had any private time with each other, it had been one case after another.

Instead of the petulant face she was expecting he smiled and nodded. "Ok, I'll drive you home and pick you up tomorrow."

Three months ago she would _not _have allowed Deeks to take her Cadillac home, but now…now was different and she agreed quietly. They were not at the stay at each other's places stage just yet (the night she appeared at his doorstep notwithstanding), but she did spend significant time at his, which was where they allowed the physical side of their relationship to flourish. And flourish it did, after days on the job, she all but craved his presence, his hands in her hair, on her body, lips on hers.

They had yet to take that final leap though.

Despite the fact they had grown intensely close, she still couldn't commit to that last act. Maybe because to her that was handing him everything, there was nowhere for her to hide after that.

Handing him her keys, they bid farewell to Callen and Hetty before making it to the small parking garage where her car was next to Callen's new Mercedes.

She slid into the passenger seat silently and was just about to close her eyes in exhaustion when something on the dashboard caught her attention.

_No, he didn't... _

Sitting there was a cupcake, a delicious looking and chocolate, cupcake.

"Deeks, is that…"

"Yup, Devil's Food from Magnolia."

"Ohhh, Deeks..." she sighed happily. More because of the significance of the gesture, Deeks was a goofball for sure and frequently a pain in the ass, but he also had the capacity to be a sweet, caring, thoughtful man in private.

"Happy Birthday, Kensi."

She spared a glance at the clock, two minutes after midnight. "It was yesterday, technically."

"Well, we are still awake, so I say it's still your birthday."

Resisting picking up the treat, she leaned toward her partner, kissing him soundly on the lips. "Thank you," she said sincerely and placed her forehead on his.

Her next words were spoken so quietly he almost didn't hear them. "Ask again."

Twice now he had asked her to come home with him - the implication clear - and twice she had declined, saying they weren't ready.

Pushing her hair back and kissing her again, he spoke equally quietly. "Come home with me."

"Ok," she breathed and kissed him hard, their tongues meeting, pushing, warring for dominance. His fingers found their way into her hair, gently tugging on the locks.

As they pulled away, he looked at her flushed face. "Ok."

"Ok," she smiled and picked up the cupcake as he started the car and pulled out of her spot.

"You gonna share a bite of that?" he asked, eyeing the chocolate as she unwrapped it.

"No chance, Deeks. No chance."

* * *

Well, it was unanimous (among reviewers) that you guys wanted to see the hook up which will be in the next chapter all by itself. Since it will be rated M (though a fairly low M), I wanted to give those who don't want to see it an easy way to avoid the chapter if they so choose. You are officially pre-warned and expect it in about a week.


	8. Moment for Life

Warning: This chapter is rated M, for adult, ahem, situations. It's not super explicit but definitely M rated. You are warned. If you don't want to read this one, you won't miss anything at all; you can pick up at Chapter 9 and be just fine.

_I fly with the stars in the skies,  
I am no longer trying to survive,  
I believe that life is a prize,  
But to live doesn't mean you're alive._

_I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life  
Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive_

I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life  
Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive

_This is my moment, I waited all my life I can tell its time  
drifting away I'm one with the sunsets, I have become alive._

Moment for Life, Nicki Minaj

* * *

Chapter 8: Moment for Life

In the end she had given him a bite of the cupcake as they drove to his place in mostly silence, broken mostly by the sounds of her enjoying the dessert and making insanely sexy noises while doing so.

"Oh, my God Deeks, that was delicious. Thank you again," she said as they pulled up to his complex and she walked to his side of the car, waiting for him to follow; when he didn't she turned back with a quizzical expression.

Suddenly he closed the distance between them and putting his hand on the back of her head, pulled her in for a bruising kiss. "Couldn't wait," he mumbled between kisses. Instantly she responded, pressing her body fully against his and pushing her fingers through his hair.

Pulling apart, he grabbed her hand and led her up the stairs and into his apartment. As he turned from closing the door she all but attacked him, pressing them both against the door, sucking gently on his bottom lip.

"Kensi…" he moaned as she nipped lightly and pulled away, taking several steps back into his living room slowly, her eyes never leaving his. Without even thinking about it he followed her until she stopped next to the couch, looking at him with an expression of what he could only define as apprehension.

Reaching out, he placed one hand on her hip and the other cupped her cheek. "We don't have to…"

She shook her head with a small smile and placed her hands on his chest. "No, no…that's not…doesn't matter."

Leisurely her hands moved to the buttons on his shirt and she began undoing them at an agonizingly slow pace, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Adorable was not a word Deeks would normally associate with his partner, but in that moment…it was an apt description. As she moved to the last button, the hand that had been on her hip moved under her t-shirt and tank, sliding slowly across her smooth skin to her back where he allowed just his fingertips to gently brush across lower back; he could feel the goosebumps rise on her skin.

She pushed his plaid shirt down – leaving him in a tank top – and his arms dropped from her, tossing the material onto the couch haphazardly.

For a moment they just locked gazes until simultaneously they moved toward each other, their lips meeting again desperately, his fingers gently grasping her hair.

It didn't take long for her entire body to start flushing with the heat of desire, the most intense spots being wherever they were skin-to-skin. He pulled away from her and she nearly moaned in frustration until his lips returned to her neck, where he nipped and sucked at her sensitive skin. When he suddenly licked the area he had been nipping she let out a low moan and arched into him.

Grasping at his tank top, Kensi started to pull him down to the couch with her, but his hand on the back stopped their momentum and she looked at him curiously.

"Bedroom…" he mumbled into her neck and they reversed direction, returning to standing as he pushed her backwards down the hall, his hands pushing her shirt up and roaming across every inch of exposed skin.

As he pulled both her t-shirt and tank over her head simultaneously and dropped the material to the floor just outside his bedroom, with her hair mussed from his fingers and the removal of her clothing Deeks thought she never looked more beautiful. The feeling that swelled in his chest as he looked at her desire laden eyes told Deeks that he was in deep with this woman. Far deeper then even he had realized.

"Deeks?" she questioned quietly with a tilt to her head.

He cupped both her cheeks, looked deep into her eyes and spoke equally quietly, "You are beautiful, you know that?"

Instead of responding, her hands slid under his tank and pulled it up – forcing his hands from her face – and over his head, tossing it on top of her discarded clothes. The second the material hit the floor her lips were on his neck, sucking and kissing gently while she guided them back into the bedroom until her legs bumped his bed.

As they stopped, he nudged her head up and kissed her fiercely; pouring all the emotion he could into that one moment. She responded with equal force, their lips parting, tongues darting into the other's mouth, teeth occasionally clashing.

His hands moved to her back and quickly undid the clasp of her bra, pulling the material out from between them with skill. Slowly his hands worked up her sides as they continued to kiss with increasing frenzy, only stopping when they came to the sides of her breasts, which he allowed the pads of his thumbs to slowly graze.

She paused her attack on his lips as his hands became bolder, moving to cup her breast fully. A jolt of heat ran through her body and she let out a low, primal moan.

Suddenly she was falling back onto the bed and Kensi let out a light laugh as Deeks followed, crawling up her body, one hand ghosting over a nipple and she arched into him, exposing the flesh at her neck. Deeks took advantage and kissed the exposed skin while his hand continued to massage her breast.

Her entire body was happily humming again, responding to every touch unlike anything she had experienced before. Her eyes flitted closed as one of his hands floated down to the belt on her jeans and quickly unbuckled it, when he stumbled with the button and zipper, she pushed him off and onto the bed next to her and quickly shimmied out of the material, tossing it somewhere in the darkened room. He placed one hand on her flat abdomen and wound the other through her hair, pulling her in for another bruising kiss as his hand moved excruciatingly slowly south and she bucked her hips up in desperation.

Normally Kensi was one for foreplay – she always thought that part was the most fun – but right now it was just keeping her from her ultimate goal.

Him.

As they broke the kiss, Kensi pulled away completely and stood - completely naked - between his still clothed legs that dangled off the bed. Deeks admired her body for a long moment, literally aching for her. After licking her lips, she leaned over, expertly removing his jeans and underwear, exposing him to her. Taking in his excited state, she raised an eyebrow at him, clearly impressed.

Bending down, she licked him gently and got an immediate, breathless "Kensi" from him.

That's what she was talking about.

She gave him one last, long, sloppy lick before crawling up his body, dropping occasional kisses – or just licking his skin - on her way up. He tasted like he smelled and she loved it, just the taste was enough to turn her on.

"You're killing me here," he mumbled as she came to a stop hovering above him, her breasts brushing his chest. His hands came up and locked onto her hips, keeping her in place.

"Mmmmm…" she murmured into his neck.

One hand moved from her hip and down the inside of her thigh, before returning, this time pressing between her thighs gently.

"Ohhhhhh…." she moaned. "Enough, now."

He paused a moment, he hadn't expected that.

"Now, Deeks…" she all but growled and he moved up the bed, taking her with him as he reached into the night table, pulling out a foil wrapper.

That's when she took control, quickly sheathing him with the contents and lowering herself onto him gently. "Oh, God," she called as he moved himself farther into her and twisted his hips _just so _which caused heat to flush through her and she let out a low moan_. _

Deeks watched as she closed her eyes and pressed her small hands into his chest and he dug his fingers into the skin at her hips – certain it would leave a mark tomorrow – and moved her with him as he increased speed.

It didn't take long for them to fall into a slow, gentle rhythm with each other, her fingers roaming his chest and his moving between her lower back and hips. Eventually she leaned down and picked up the pace, placing an open mouthed kiss on his chest.

Before she knew what was happening, Deeks flipped her onto her back and dove into her harder and faster. She arched into him and cried out his name loudly as that familiar feeling started to coil in him.

"Deeks," she panted and her nails dug into the skin at his shoulders. "Ohhh, Deeks…" she moaned and suddenly exploded, her entire body shuddering and shaking as she came apart.

It wasn't long after that he did the same, grunting softly and burying his nose in her neck, kissing it gently.

Rolling off her slowly, Deeks pulled the comforter over their cooling bodies and she sleepily curled into his side, kissing his chest again.

"That was…" he started, still panting lightly.

"Yeah," she finished as her fingers traced the muscles on his abdomen.

"Why did we wait so long to do that?" he asked with a smile.

She tilted her head up at him and returned the smile. "I have no idea, but clearly it was stupid."

"Clearly."

Kensi felt sleep pulling at her and before giving in reached up to kiss him soundly on the lips, mumbling, "Night, Marty."

Something in his chest tightened at the use of his first name and he kissed the top of her head. "Night, Princess."

Pulling her closer to him, Deeks quickly followed her into sleep.

* * *

**AN: Apologies for the shortness, but really, the whole thing was sex, not even I can write 4000 words of sex. Probably. Heh. Anyway, lovely readers, I officially have two sick children and am going on vacation next week so the next chapter is probably two weeks out. And again…how lovely was last nights ep? Even Sam and Callen are onto poor Deeks. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	9. Better Than Drugs

Apologies readers, I know I said two weeks but I wrote this chapter once then scrubbed the entire thing because, quite honestly, it sucked. So I started over and present you this one instead. I hope it was worth the wait.

Also, because of my tardiness, I offer you a supersized chapter. There isn't a ton of Deeks/Kensi direct interaction, but I hope what there is will be…satisfactory. Heh.

Thank you for all the reviews so far, they are appreciated to no end, it's always nice to hear what you, the reader, thinks.

On with the show…

_You're better than drugs  
your love is like wine  
Feel you comin' on so fast  
Feel you comin' to get me high  
You're better than drugs  
Addicted for life  
Feel you comin' on so fast  
Feel you comin' on to get me high_

_Feel you when I'm restless_  
_Feel you when I cannot cope_  
_You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote_  
_You kill the poison_  
_Ease the suffering_  
_Calm the rage when I'm afraid_  
_To feel again_

_How can I tell you just all that you are  
What you do to me_

Better Than Drugs, Skillet

* * *

Chapter Nine: Better Than Drugs

"I'm torn," her partner stated while staring at the large monitor in the bullpen.

"About what?" she sighed and typed furiously on her laptop, not even bothering to look up.

"I can't decide if I really like this op, or hate it."

Now her head snapped up. "Why?"

Slowly he turned to her and looked around to ensure none of their colleagues were within earshot; thankfully the other two agents had disappeared to the OPS center. "Really? Well on one hand, you are going undercover in a strip club –"

"As a waitress."

He ignored her. "-which is totally hot. On the other hand, the strip club is a front for a rather nasty gambling ring, the sale of government information, gun running, probably drugs and prostitution and who know what other kinds underhanded dealings."

"And?"

Coming to sit on the edge of her desk, he took in her expression – she seriously didn't get his problem with this. "And it's dangerous."

A shrug from her then, "It's the job, don't get all weird on me now."

"I'm not getting weird."

"Yes. You are."

"Kensi, one wrong move and McManus won't hesitate to pull the trigger on you."

"I am well aware."

"You don't seem very…concerned."

Now she let out an irritated sigh. "Why should I be? You, Sam and G will have my back, right?"

"Of course."

"Then what's the problem?"

Suddenly he grabbed her upper arm and pulled her out of the chair, guiding her to a corner of the small couch area next to their bullpen. "I've got a bad feeling about this, Kensi." He all but whispered.

"Don't do this, please."

"Do what?"

"Get all protective."

"I'm sorry, but I really don't like putting my…" he paused, considering what adjective he wanted to use to describe their relationship before landing on the only one that seemed appropriate, though it really didn't come close to describing how he felt. "…partner in this much danger."

Anger flashed in her eyes. "It's what we do, Deeks. Don't act like this, I can take care of myself."

"I know you can. That doesn't mean I have to like this op, or what you have to do while in that club."

"You mean use my assets to my advantage?"

Now it was his turn to get angry. "That's not what I meant."

"Yes, it is and no, Deeks. NO. You do not get to play this card right now. This is work, nothing else. I will play my part and act like a stupid waitress and work my way into the back side of the business, that's it."

"It's _not _what I meant. You saw the pictures and the report of the last girl they suspected of turning on them. McManus tortured her for days before finally killing her. The guy is depraved, has no respect for life and thinks women are toys to be played with and put in their place when they misbehave."

His voice had risen at the end of the conversation and as she looked into his eyes her heart nearly broke at what she saw. Terror. Absolute terror that she was putting herself front and center for this guy.

Adjusting her body so anyone passing by wouldn't see her actions, she placed one hand on his chest and stared deep into his eyes. "And that's why this will work, Deeks. McManus is so damn full of himself and hires women he perceives to be…malleable, weak that he won't see me coming. We got past the hard part…he hired me."

One of his hands covered hers and he glanced over her shoulder to confirm they were still alone. Satisfied he spoke, "Come over tonight?"

"Sure," she replied and the hand that had been on hers moved to cup her cheek briefly before dropping back to his side.

* * *

Settling into his couch after eating way too much Chinese from the place down the street, Kensi picked up a file folder from his coffee table while he turned on a hockey game. For a long while they sat in silence, her reading the background information Eric had prepared, him watching the game while slowly draining a beer.

Eventually the game ended and Deeks turned his attention to his partner who was still reading carefully in between drinks from her own bottle.

"Promise me you'll be careful," he finally said out of nowhere.

"Of course," she said into the file.

Grunting in displeasure, he pulled the file from her hands amid cries of "Deeks!" and placed it on the table. "Promise me, Kens. This guy…I don't like it."

"I…don't either," she admitted, something that a year ago Kensi would never have voiced, instead pushing through the op and dealing with the fall out later. If at all. She had to admit, having someone to confide in made dealing with the hard ops that much easier. Sure, the really bad ones Hetty made them talk to the department shrink, but Kensi was really never able to fully open up to them. It always felt like they wanted to hear she was fine so they could release her back to duty. Or maybe she just kept insisting she was fine until they just wanted her out of the office. "The whole time I was in the interview he kept…looking at me like I was fresh meat. Like he was picturing me naked." She shuttered and shook her arms as if trying to rid herself of the memory.

Deeks smirked. "Well, can't blame him for that." And leaned across the couch to her, his lips just grazing hers as he snagged the file from the table.

"It was creepy, Deeks. And give that back."

"What's your name?"

She sighed and leaned back into the cushions. "Cassie LaBlonde."

"Nice, Eric gave you a stripper name right off the bat."

"Shut up."

"Address?"

"Right now I'm house sitting for a friend and her husband who are taking a sabbatical to Spain for a few months. Hoping to get my own place soon." Her voice had taken on a vapid tone and she started to twirl her hair. And the house sitting was true, except it was a house owned by NCIS used for just this purpose, the inside was even completely furnished including pictures of a non-descript upper-class couple and recent mail. Deeks had been suitably impressed when he had seen the place the first time.

"Hometown?"

"Midland, Michigan. Just a small town Midwestern girl looking to make my mark in LA."

"Parents?"

"Dead, no siblings."

"When did you move here?"

"Six months ago."

For a few more minutes he quizzed her on details.

"Have a boyfriend? Significant other?"

Eyeing him carefully she all but crawled across the couch to him, stopping just short of his personal space. "I have…someone in my life."

"What does that someone think about you working in a strip club?" His tone was harsh.

She pulled back slightly. "I don't know, but I'm starting to think he doesn't like it."

He shifted to fully face her, one leg on the couch. "You know perfectly well my feelings on this op; I think it's a terrible idea."

"Got a better one?" She snapped back.

"No one asked if I did." Sarcasm laced his voice.

"Cut it out. It's the best option and if you were thinking with your detective brain you would realize that."

His eyebrows raised and irritation crossed his face. "I'm sorry, but I really don't like putting my…"

"Your what?"

"I don't know," he said slowly.

"Don't know what?"

He looked at her seriously. "I don't know what to call you, and you know what, I don't like that." Sighing he ran his fingers through his long locks. "I know we agreed not to define our personal relationship, but come on Kens, it's been…months." He scrunched his nose in thought, hell, he wasn't even sure when they officially started…having a personal relationship (God, he was getting tired of calling it that). December after the run in with Anderson? Or June when she showed up at his door and they agreed to 'not define' this. August when they finally did sleep together? "Give or take."

She stared at him a long moment. "Deeks…I…"

"Not that it comes up often, but…I think this relationship has moved along without us acknowledging it."

"It has, yeah."

Kensi regarded her partner, truth be told, lately she had been having similar thoughts. Maybe it was time to label this, to give it some permanence. Because damn it, she was happy…really, truly happy with this man; he made her feel wanted and safe and all those things that she thought were no longer in her future.

Deeks moved closer to her and cupped her cheek with his hand, eyes locked on hers, that damn serious expression on his face. "Kensi Blye, you are insane, give me heart failure on a regular basis, and have some serious commitment issues but you are also fiercely protective of those close to you, are wonderfully sweet and kind and I'm hopelessly falling in love with you."

For a long moment she just stared at him, digesting what he had just said; this was the first time someone had said that to her since Jack.

Instead of speaking she leaned forward and gave him the most heartfelt kiss she could manage. As they separated, she placed her forehead on his and with her eyes closed, spoke quietly.

"You talk too much, have a habit of annoying me and are just too happy for your own damn good, but you're also the most caring man I've ever met and have lightened my life. I'm already in love with you."

Gently he kissed her again. "Christmas is next month; Hetty is giving us the long weekend off. Let's get out of town; I know a great bed and breakfast. We can spend the weekend in bed." With that he waggled his eyebrows at her.

She let out a light laugh and responded with an "Ok…" while moving to straddle his lap and kiss him deeply. He responded in kind and slipped his hands under her green tank top, pushing up the material. It wasn't long before she was pulling at the buttons on his flannel and he stood, hands on her behind to keep her in place wrapped around his waist and walked them into the bedroom.

* * *

"So, what can I get you gentlemen?" Kensi asked as she placed napkins on the table in front of Callen and Sam.

"Scotch, double."

"Same."

She nodded before giving them a bright smile and walking back to the bar.

It was deep into her third week at the club and Sam and Callen had come in, up to this point their surveillance had been limited to sitting on the club and photographing those going in and out. The liaison officer was sitting in her Caddy, a block away, laptop open on the passenger seat so he could see what the small camera button on Callen's shirt showed and his earwig firmly in place, listening in on the men's conversations. Kensi was not currently wearing an earwig but had one close at hand if she suddenly needed to communicate with them. They all had agreed that considering how long this op could go on it was far too dangerous for her to be walking around with one in her ear. McManus may think little of the women he hired, but he was very distrustful of those not in his inner circle.

This was why she was going to be living at the "friend's house" for the duration, because once she got in deep they didn't want McManus to find anything amiss with her story. So she stayed at the extremely large house in an upscale neighborhood which had security modifications just for them and her gun in a safe, but would be stopping by the Mission on occasion to give sit reps. If needed, they could visit her at the house, there was a back entrance, though based on what they knew and had scoped out, it was unlikely McManus would have her tailed at this point.

Suddenly the camera – and Callen – turned toward the bar where they saw James McManus chatting up Kensi while she waited for her drinks. As expected, Kensi played the part perfectly; she was flirty and a little silly, acting like his attentions were the best thing that happened to her today.

When McManus' raised his hand and twirled a bit of her hair between his fingers, Deeks gut clenched just slightly, but as that hand slid down to her shoulder then upper arm, he had to take a deep breath to hold in the anger that was swirling. He knew she could take care of herself, but this man was the head of an organized ring that was responsible for multiple crimes and the fact Deeks wasn't there by her side every second made him anxious.

Instead he clenched his fists and counted to ten quietly, taking another deep breath.

"_You ok there, Deeks?" _Callen's voice asked.

Crap, clearly he hadn't been very quiet while trying to reign himself in. "Good, great…fan-tastic."

In the club, Callen gave Sam a concerned look. "Get your head on straight. She's fine."

"_I know…it's…nevermind."_

That's when Kensi picked up the drinks the bartender provided for her and walked them over to Callen and Sam, smiling broadly as she leaned over. Deeks got a good look at the 'uniform' she was wearing, though one could hardly call a blue string bikini top and ridiculously short black skirt with knee high, stiletto boots, a 'uniform'.

"Here you go, would you like to start a tab?"

"Yes, please," Sam responded and handed over a credit card.

"Tab for table seventy two, Libby," she said and handed the bartender the plastic, her eyes roving the club while she waited for it to process. So far her exposure had been limited to the locker area and bar, McManus office was off limits to mere waitresses like her. Though she had noticed a dancer or two coming out, and Kensi could figure that one out on her own – McManus was dipping into the office pool.

"Clear for ten grand. Serve em all they like," the other woman said and handed it back, but before Kensi could walk away, she grabbed her wrist. Surprised, Kensi looked down at the small hand clenching her wrist before meeting Libby's eyes. "Cassie, careful with Mr. M. He's taken a liking to you, which isn't always a good thing."

Kensi shook her head. "I don't understand…"

"Just…watch your back. I've been here so long James doesn't bother with me anymore, I did my time."

"Did your time?"

Suddenly the other woman stiffened and released her arm, "Ten grand, Cass, you reeled in a good table tonight, lucky girl."

As she opened her mouth, Kensi noticed McManus in the bar mirror behind her, staring at her back with a decidedly wanton look in his eye.

Turning she gave the owner her best smile and returned the card to Sam. "Seems like I caught a fish."

Both men discreetly looked at their mark, who was still not-so-discreetly watching Kensi from the bar, his eyes lingering in places that would make Deeks blush.

"See you at the Mission tomorrow," she said and returned to another table, putting on the same smile for them that she had for Sam and G.

* * *

True to her word, at ten am (despite being at the club until 3 am) she strolled into the bullpen and noted the absence of her colleagues. Looking up she dropped her stuff and took the stairs two at a time to the OPS center. Walking in, she found the group reviewing the footage from last night.

"Thanks for the tip last night guys, all the other girls were jealous." She stated with a wink and all four men and two women turned to her, smiling. Though Deeks had the biggest grin of them all, this was the first time he had seen her in person since the op started. Two weeks was a long time to go without being able to touch her or have a conversation that wasn't all work.

"Excellent job, Ms Blye," Hetty started. "McManus seems rather…enamored with you."

"Yay," she replied dryly. "He's…something else."

"Yeah, creepy." Was Deeks reply and she nodded in agreement.

"See if you can't get him to trust you enough to leave you alone in his office long enough to get Eric in," Callen stated.

"I've only seen certain dancers coming out of his office, for obvious reasons." Moving toward the group, she kept her eyes on the monitor as she spoke. "Anything yet?"

"Nope," Eric replied. "Everything we could see appeared on the up and up. No shady characters…well more shady then what you normally see at a strip club."

"If this club is a front for a gambling and gun running ring, it's a damn good one," Callen stated and moved to stand next to her.

"Tell me about it, the girls won't talk about extracurricular activities they might be participating in." Kensi seemed to consider something a long moment while chewing on her lower lip. "I'll drop a hint that I'm looking for more cash, maybe I can get in on one of his super secret games."

"Sounds good," Callen said and after some more chatting, they broke apart to write reports.

As the senior agents went down the stairs, Deeks quietly pulled Kensi into a secluded area on the second floor.

"Hey," he whispered as he leaned her back against the exposed brick wall, standing well into her personal space.

"Hey," she whispered back gave him a quick, chaste kiss. Normally she wouldn't even have attempted that here, but it had been far too long since they had been together in any fashion non-work related.

Deeks pushed a section of hair behind her ear. "God, I've missed you."

"You too," she sighed softly.

"My bed _really_ misses you."

"Leave it to you to ruin a perfectly nice moment," she protested weakly and with a smile. Clearly she was exhausted; she hadn't been sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours a night. Normally she could handle the lack of sleep for a couple nights, maybe a week, but it had been almost three and it was wearing her down.

"It's why you love me."

"Mmmm," she muttered and placed her forehead on his chest. "One of your many charms."

"Go home, get some sleep," he whispered into her ear.

"It's weird sleeping in that big place by myself…"

"You want me to come over tonight?"

"No, probably a bad idea, emergencies only, remember?"

"This is an emergency…"

She lifted her head and arched one eyebrow at him, speaking lowly, "Needing sex does not constitute an emergency."

"It does to me!" He protested with a smile.

She returned it with a tired one of her own and stepped around him, heading back to the stairs. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled to her back and waited several minutes before following.

"Mr. Deeks," a familiar voice called out and he stopped dead in his tracks at the top of the stairs.

Turning toward the diminutive woman he put on his brightest smile. "Hetty, what's up?" he asked casually all the while trying to figure out if the Operations Manager had witnessed him and his partner in the corner, entirely too close to each other for it to be a professional encounter.

"How is Ms Blye?" she asked with an expression on her face that told him everything.

_Busted._

"Tired, I sent her home, hope that's ok?" he asked, straining to keep the causal tone in his voice.

"Fine, fine," she responded and pinned him with a look that Deeks flat out couldn't decipher, but scared the hell out of him. Was she about to tell him to keep away from her agent? Go back to LAPD, he wasn't needed here? Or would she just leak the info to Callen and Sam and let them take care of it?

"Is there anything I need to be…concerned about regarding your _partnership_ with Agent Blye?" Clearly she wasn't talking about their working relationship.

"No, nope, nothing. Everything is great." He rambled a moment before composing himself and looking her in the eye. "Really, nothing to be concerned about. We are…good. Really good."

The other woman pursed her lips momentarily while considering this. "Make certain it stays that way, Detective."

"I will do everything in my power to make sure it does." His tone was dead serious.

"Of that I am confident. Good partnerships are hard to find, especially for Ms Blye."

"I know."

"Good, back to your reports, Detective."

"Yes, ma'am," he said and sprinted down the stairs, there was something about Hetty all but giving them permission that caused relief to settle over him. Not that they were concerned, technically it wasn't against the rules, but sometimes Hetty had her own ideas.

* * *

"So, I hear you are looking to make some extra money?" His voice was slightly smarmy.

Kensi smiled to herself before turning to her boss. "I would love to…but I don't dance, you know? Not really my thing. But, my friends are coming back from Spain soon, and I'm pretty sure they would want me out of their house. And wow are apartments expensive out here."

"I may have another option for you if you'd like, but it's a very…exclusive job that I only allow my best girls to work and you…you are certainly a crowd pleaser." As he smiled at her, Kensi thought James McManus would have been handsome in any other setting. He was tall, built, brown hair and green eyes but there was something dark and sinister behind the smile that made even Kensi shiver inside a little. He slipped a piece of paper onto her tray. "Be at this address next Friday at seven. I'll have an outfit waiting for you. You should be able to double your tips for the week in one night."

"Wow, thank you…"

He leaned into her slightly and she could smell his expensive overpowering cologne. "Remember, keep it quiet."

She stepped away and pointed out to the club. "My shift is starting, don't want anyone going thirsty."

"Good girl," he whispered and she merely smiled before walking away.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Kensi walked into what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse to find it anything but. Inside were two dozen gaming tables set up for numerous types of games and a large bar at the end; the entire place was dimly lit and gave the impression of what it was, high stakes, under the table gambling. This was what they were trying to close down after at least two deaths and multiple hospitalizations related to gaming debts, and that didn't even touch the intel dealing that was going on on the side. Part of the problem was the game never happened in the same place twice in a row, they were having a hard time pinning it down, and since the invite list was exclusive to the extreme, no one talked about it.

Walking slowly she cleared her throat and spoke quietly. "Read me?"

"Clear," Eric responded from the Ops center.

"Got ya," Callen replied from their post in a building two doors down.

"Visual?" She asked next; two pinprick sized cameras were located in the hairclips holding the front part of her hair up. The angle wasn't ideal, but it would have to work.

Quickly she got two more positive responses.

Suddenly her name was squealed and she was nearly bowled over by one of the other girls from the club, Jasmine (real name: Stephanie Summers), a tall, thin and extremely beautiful Cuban who Kensi liked. "I didn't know you were working the games now…"

"Mr M mentioned it to me earlier this week. I need a little extra to get my own place."

Jasmine gave her a look. "Oh, you'll make plenty tonight, the money is great as long as people are winning." Looking around the other woman winked conspiratorially. "And some do. Mr M makes sure."

"Great," she responded and allowed Jasmine to lead her to the back and show her the extremely small outfit she was expected to wear.

Holding up the material, Kensi sighed. It was black, strapless and only long enough to cover her behind and she was sure it would leave nothing to the imagination. Looking around to make sure no one was in the vicinity she spoke quietly again. "You catch what my new friend said?"

"_Yup,"_ Callen responded.

"_Is that your…dress?" _Deeks asked with just a little bit of awe in his voice. _"It looks like a tube top."_

"Thanks for that..."

Pulling the material on, she slipped on the too high shoes and shook her head in annoyance. She hated this man, if only for his ridiculous clothing choices.

Walking out of the small changing area Jasmine saw her and gave her a long, low whistle. "You make that look good, girl."

"How do you breathe?" she asked.

"You don't need to breathe, honey, as long as the cash makes it into your pocket."

Kensi tried to smile, but was certain it came out more as a grimace.

That's when McManus appeared in the back and carefully looked them over, Kensi decidedly did not like the way his eyes seemed to linger longer on her then the others.

"Let's have a good night, girls," he said, while staring directly at her. "Remember, we do everything we can to make our guests happy."

As she passed by McManus on the way out to the gaming area, a hand grabbed her by the upper arm and stopped her short while all the other girls filed out.

While every muscle in her body wanted to lash out and punch this guy, she resisted and instead smiled. She even smiled as his hand slowly slid up her exposed arm, to her shoulder before sliding down to the top of the dress, seemingly adjusting something, but really copping a brief feel of her left breast. Now she _really _wanted to punch his lights out.

"You are lovely, Cassie. Why don't you meet me in my office later?"

"Oh, I'd love to Mr McManus, but I don't think I could do that…"

Suddenly the hand that had been soft and gentle moved to the back of her head and roughly grabbed the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled hard snapping her neck back and causing tears to spring to her eyes as an involuntary gasp of pain slip through her lips.

In the warehouse the three men cringed, but didn't move from their spots, knowing perfectly well she hadn't indicated she lost control of the situation.

"Please let me go…" she whimpered, knowing that's what a girl like Cassie would do, but all the while Kensi was contemplating all the ways she would make him pay for this later.

Instead he leaned down, his lips by her ear – she could feel his hot breath on her neck – and spoke sternly. "Understand something, Cassie. I own you now. And that means you do what I tell you when I tell you to. If you do something stupid, I won't be responsible for my actions. Play nice and you'll reap the rewards."

"Yes, Mr McManus," she squeaked out even as he pulled her head back farther.

"Good girl," he whispered and placed a kiss on her neck, she shuddered and closed her eyes. Part of her wanted to scream that damn distress word, but the larger part knew that she wasn't in immediate danger, no matter how dirty she now felt, and knew the mission was more important.

Suddenly he released her. "You better get out there."

Silently she nodded and walked though the curtains into the main floor.

She could feel his eyes on her the entire time.

* * *

The night was going fairly well, had she been able to keep the tips she was making – instead of handing them off to Hetty – Kensi would have been able to buy herself a very large television by now. The room was full of men gambling away more money then she made in a year. It was loud and smoky and her feet were starting to hurt. Thankfully the games were scheduled to end in just over two hours.

After her encounter with McManus in the back, she hadn't seen the man and for that she was at least a little grateful. In her time with NCIS Kensi had been forced to do some truly distasteful things to get the job done, but she could feel the cruelty rolling of McManus in waves (maybe that was because she had seen the pictures of the last girl he didn't need any more) and just wanted this Op over.

"_Kensi…pan back 20 degrees to your right," _Callen said in her ear.

Slowly she did as requested and waited.

"_Peter Roloff, major player in the info dealing business. He is indiscriminate, will sell to anyone from anyone as long as the intel is good. Keep an eye on that one, Kens," _Callen stated.

It wasn't twenty minutes and their mark stood, picking up his winnings and heading toward the back.

After dropping a drink off and accepting a tip, Kensi quietly followed Roloff into the back area of the warehouse where the changing area and McManus office where.

Following the sounds of voices, she stopped just outside McManus' office and tried to listen, the acoustics of the building were working against her though, forcing her to move closer.

A loud "Hey!" suddenly sounded from behind her and she whirled around to find one of McManus' bodyguards approaching her.

Looking around she didn't see a way she could slip away so instead she stood there looking confused a moment. "Where is the bathroom in this place?" she asked as the thug got close and McManus appeared in the partially open doorway, looking at her with a furious expression.

Quickly he turned back to Roloff and speaking in Russian, dismissed his guest. "I have it under control, Jason, thank you," he said to the bodyguard who quickly left, leaving her alone with McManus.

A hand reached out and grabbed her roughly by the upper arm, dragging her into his office, where he slammed the door closed behind them.

"What are you doing outside my office?" he demanded, walking her into the wall and pinning her in place. "Didn't we just discuss that you need to behave your pretty self?"

"Yes…I…I'm sorry Mr McManus."

He grabbed her cheeks with one hand and squeezed hard. "Sorry isn't always enough, Cassie. I think you need to learn this the hard way."

Abruptly he smashed the back of her head against the wall, hard enough to get the point across and send stars across her vision for a split second, but not hard enough to do damage. Stepping back, he then viciously smacked her across the face, and again her head made contact with the wall, but it was a glancing blow and she knew it would merely add to the headache already forming.

At that Deeks stood up and checked his weapon. "Enough," he said to the other men.

"She hasn't said the distress word, Deeks."

"So…because she hasn't said the damn word, we are going to let her get assaulted?" Deeks was letting his feelings show but in that second he didn't care.

"Kensi is a gamer, Deeks…if she felt like her life was in danger she would say the word. She's done this enough to know when to call it quits."

"What if she doesn't?"

"What?"

"What if she's more worried about the op then her own safety?"

"I think _you're _more worried about her safety then the op; don't let your feelings for her cloud your judgment, Deeks."

"I'm not…" he tried to protest, but it died on his lips.

"Guys…" Sam's voice called them back to the task at hand and they returned to the monitor in time to see McManus grab Kensi….somewhere they couldn't quite determine below the waist.

That's when Deeks' heart dropped in his chest.

Kensi, however, was very aware of the large, bruising hands pressing into the covered flesh of her hips, pushing her back again. And again she wanted to put this asshole in his place, but knew she couldn't without compromising everything.

"Please…stop…" she affected a begging tone.

"What where you doing out there?"

"I was…I was coming to see you. To apologize for…earlier. You have been very good to me so far and I don't want to screw that up."

One of his hands slowly moved up her side moving slowly up before pushing through her hair and pulling her lips to his.

Disgust flowed through her at the contact but, again, she played along, even returning the kiss somewhat.

Eventually he pulled away and licked his lips, "This is the last time we will have this conversation, Cassie. Next time, you won't be so fortunate. Get back out there, it's almost closing time."

"Yes, Mr McManus," she said and slid out from under him and left the office quickly. Making her way to the bathroom, as she entered the room Kensi asked the guys for a couple minutes of privacy. Knowing they wouldn't turn off the surveillance (not after Anderson), but would at least not watch carefully for a few minutes, she stepped to the sink and promptly rinsed her mouth out, attempting to rid herself of the taste of him. Looking carefully in the mirror she noted the smack across the face probably wasn't going to leave a mark.

This assignment had just become a lot more dangerous.

**Additionally, this is the penultimate chapter. It seems fitting somehow that this fic started as a case/plot driven two part and that is also how it will end. Give me two weeks and part two (and our last chapter) will be up. **


	10. Without You

Well, as it turns out THIS is the penultimate chapter. I had every intention of making this the last one, but it came out significantly longer than I anticipated and decided to break it into two chapters, which the next (and last, really) will also involve an epilogue of sorts. It's already half written, so anticipate it sooner than later.

Thank you again for the reviews and alerts, they are always appreciated.

On with the show…

_What if I walked without you? What if I ran without you?  
What if I stand without you? I could not go on  
What if I lived without you?  
What if I love without you?  
What if I died without you?  
I could not go on_

_You left my side tonight,_  
_And I just don't feel right,_  
_But I can't let you out of sight_  
_Without you I'm no one,_  
_I'm nothing at all_

_What if I lie without you?_  
_What if I rise without you_  
_And what if I dream without you?_  
_I could not go on_

Without You, Three Days Grace

* * *

CHAPTER TEN: Without You

_Come over._

The text had arrived thirty minutes after the games had closed and they watched her head to the NCIS provided older model Malibu. He had been almost home but quickly reversed direction, even though it was nearly 2 am, and headed toward the house on Lorenzo.

Walking around the side of the house, he sighed upon seeing her sitting on the edge of the pool, dressed in denim shorts and a dark tank top, her feet dangling in the shallow end. The pool lights were on low and she was staring down into the water with a blank expression.

He approached slowly and as he got closer, paused long enough to remove his shoes and socks and roll up his khaki pants. Sitting next to her, he put his toes in the heated water but didn't speak, knowing that he would get far more out of her by being silent.

It wasn't five minutes when she finally spoke, but kept her eyes down. "I hate this op."

"Me too," he agreed and gently grasped one of her hands. "You ok? How's the head?"

"Better, actually; guy knows how to hit." Now she looked up at him. "No mark."

"Impressive," he agreed and ghosted his fingers over the unmarred skin.

"James McManus is an asshole," she continued. "He…preys on women who have no self esteem, who will take the beatings and the threats and whatever else he dishes out because the pay and perks are good and he makes them feel like the luckiest girl on earth. When all he really wants them for is…well, you know."

Yeah, Marty Deeks was well aware of what McManus was getting out of it; he had seen his fair share of men like him in LAPD. Thinks he owns everything and everyone. It always made him sick to his stomach when he witnessed the moment the girls figured out not only they had been played, but how badly.

"There is only one way I'm getting in that office, Deeks. He keeps it locked tight when he isn't there and while I could pick the lock, I can't risk getting caught."

"We should just pick him up on the illegal gambling and be done with this."

"We can't and you know it. There is way more going on behind the scenes then just the gambling. We need that info to get this guy put away for life."

"I know…I know…"

She turned and looked at him, lightly chewing her lower lip. "I'm going to have to get closer to him."

"I know," he choked out. The idea of her getting closer to this guy made him twitch.

Nothing more needed to be said. They both knew she would only allow it to get so far, hell, Hetty would only allow her to go so far. Their jobs might live in the grey areas of right and wrong sometimes, but on this topic there was only black and white.

Kensi watched the frustration cover his face and she leaned over, kissing him. He cupped her neck gently – mindful of the knock she took earlier – and pulled her closer. A low moan emanated from his partner and she gripped the front of his t-shirt.

As quickly as she started it, Kensi pulled away from him with a devious expression. He narrowed his eyes at her just as she released her grip on his shirt and dropped herself into the pool, going completely under before breaking the surface between his legs, her head at his abdomen.

"Join me?" It was a question, but her tone was pleading as she moved backward in the water.

Pulling off his t-shirt and khakis, he slipped into the pool; and as his feet touched the bottom she slid back toward him, pinning him against the smooth tile surface of the pool wall.

"I can still feel him on me," she whispered.

"Oh, baby," he returned in an equally quiet voice, aware he had called her a term of endearment that at any other moment would have earned him a well-deserved beating. But in that moment his partner needed her boyfriend, not her partner.

Gently he bent down and kissed her again, his fingers playing with the hem of her tank and she returned the kiss with an intensity he hadn't felt from her before; it was almost desperate. Clearly she needed to erase the feeling of McManus that lingered.

It didn't take long before their now-wet clothing was shed.

* * *

Startling awake, Deeks looked up disoriented at the high ceiling above him before realizing he was sleeping in a master bedroom bigger than his entire apartment. Muttering at the unfairness of it all, he rolled over and nuzzled into his partners neck, pulling her mostly naked body closer to him.

A small noise of contentment came from somewhere in her throat and she rolled over, cracking one eye open. "What time is it?"

"Early." Was all he said and continued to look at her, hair going in every direction, eyes heavily lidded with sleep and a thought that had been spinning around in his head for the last several weeks came to him again, and this time he didn't keep quiet about it. Given the early hour, no one could accuse him of having good timing with these things but he just felt like it was now or never.

Just as she was starting to fall back to sleep he said her name. "Yeah?" she responded sleepily.

"I want to ask you something, but I don't want an answer right away. I want you to think about it."

Now she was awake and looking at him concerned. "Ok, what?"

Smiling, he pushed hair off her cheek. "After this case is over, I want you to move in with me." Her eyes widened and he felt her stiffen under his arm for just a moment before relaxing again. "Think about it, you don't have to answer me now."

"Ok…" she replied slowly and Deeks could clearly see her contemplating this. "Ok…but Deeks are you sure about that? Really sure? I want _you _to think about it."

He gave her a lopsided grin. "I have thought about it.

She propped herself up on one hand. "You've been thinking about this?"

"Yep."

She was stunned. "But you're…clean and neat and I'm messy and disorganized. You would hate it in two weeks."

"I might hate your mess, but I love you." He placed a hand on her shoulder and slowly slid it up and down her arm. "Just _think_ about it."

She nodded. "Ok, I will. Promise."

That earned her one of Deeks most charming smiles as she laid her head back down on the pillow, exhaustion overcoming her once again.

"Go back to sleep, we have a couple more hours."

"Mmmm, ok…" she muttered and moved closer to him folding her arms against his chest, her mind was whirring with the life-changing question he had posed. Was it possible that she had found another man who she loved enough to consider a future with? Two years ago she would have said absolutely not; that Jack was end of her happy ending. But, as fate (or Hetty) would have it, here he was, aware of all her flaws and insanity and still willing to stick it out with her. To love her. The realization was overwhelming and Kensi had to resist the urge to cry. Maybe Deeks was the universe finally paying her back for losing her father and Jack. Maybe she had finally done enough good with NCIS to be allowed this. Just maybe.

Waking for the second time, he rolled over to find the extra large king bed empty. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Deeks noted that it was almost noon and there was noise coming from the bathroom. Padding into the room, he noted she had already showered and dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and was pulling her hair into a damp ponytail.

"Is nothing in this house small?" he asked while looking around the spacious bathroom.

"It's nearly six thousand square feet, so…no."

Walking behind her to the mirror, he wrapped his arms around her waist before dropping a kiss onto her neck. "Heading out to my car for my go bag, I parked two block away so back in five."

* * *

It wasn't two minutes after he left that the front doorbell rang and Kensi looked up from her task of pulling food out for lunch – they had slept through breakfast. Making her way over to the door, she looked out the peephole and muttered 'shit' before plastering on a smile and opening the door.

"Mr McManus…I didn't expect to see you here."

The man gave her a thorough once over before speaking. "I wanted to chat, might I come in?"

"Oh, wow…yes, of course, I'm sorry," she opened the door fully, allowing him to pass before closing the door behind him and nodding in the direction of the kitchen. "I was just making lunch, would you like something?"

"No, thank you" he said and took a seat at the breakfast bar, patting the seat next to him. Kensi complied, sitting closer then she would have liked to the man. "I just wanted to make sure that our conversations last night didn't…scare you off."

"Of course not, Mr. M. I…I understand, you've been very good to me and I'm making more money than I ever could have dreamed." She looked down. "It was my fault, I didn't…think."

His hand reached up and cupped her cheek gently, his thumb stroking the skin; the urge to pull away was almost overwhelming. "No, you didn't, Cassie and I think you've learned your lesson, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, then I have another…side job for you. Every year I hold a party at my house for some of my…wealthier clients. I would like for you to be there."

"I would love to; um…will the tips be like last night?" She asked stupidly. Kensi knew perfectly well what this was about – she would be part of the entertainment.

He gave her the look you would give a small child when explaining something complicated. "Actually, I would like you to come as my date."

That was certainly not what she was expecting.

"I would love to," she automatically answered. "Is it…formal?"

"Extremely; I will send over a dress this week, the party is Saturday." With that he stood and touched her neck gently, his fingers gliding over the skin of her collarbone far longer than they should. "Well, I need to head to the club; I will see you later, Cassie."

"Thank you again, Mr M."

"Why don't you call me James, Cass," he said and gave her a smile that was probably intended to be seductive but came off as sinister.

"Ok, James."

As his car pulled out of the driveway, she heard the door to the pool deck open and Deeks enter the house, obviously he had been waiting for the other man to depart.

Coming back into the kitchen she had an indecipherable expression. "I've been invited to a party on Saturday at McManus' house."

He leaned against the counter and popped a piece of fruit in his mouth. "This could be good. If you can get into his home office, we could get the intel we've been looking for and maybe I won't have to cancel our plans for the holiday."

She moved closer to him and placed her forehead on his chest, arms hugging his waist. "I would really like that."

He wrapped his arms around her loosely. "Me too."

"Are you sure?" It was quiet because she was still facing his chest, but he heard it.

"Am I sure I want to spend Christmas away and in bed with you? Yes, yes I am."

Now her head raised and she gave him a vaguely disapproving look. "No, Deeks. Are you sure you want to live with me?"

That serious expression crossed his face and he locked eyes with her. "I am more sure of that then I have been of anything in my life."

"Aren't you worried it's too soon?"

"No, I'm not." He stated firmly and released her.

"But Deeks…it's just," she sighed and rubbed one hand across her forehead, a headache was starting. "You've seen my place, can you live with that? I'm not going to change because I move in with a neat freak."

"Ok, one, I'm not a neat freak. I just like things clean. And two, I wouldn't expect you to change. This Kensi is the one I fell in love with." His hand reached up and slowly stroked her cheek. "Besides, I think we can…compromise." Even as he said the words Deeks realized compromise usually wasn't one of their strong suits, they usually just pestered the other person until they gave. And Kensi was shocking good at getting her way.

"Yeah, sure," she said, speaking what he was thinking, but with a grin on her face. "You aren't worried about Hetty finding out?"

"Not really…" he drew out and from his expression she gathered what happened.

"She found out."

Deeks brought two fingers almost together. "Little bit."

"And?"

"And nothing." He shrugged. "I believe she threatened me if I hurt you, but other than that I think we got her blessing."

"Weird."

"I know."

"Let's get the op over with, and then we can talk later."

"Yeah, ok," she said, still thinking about the fact that Hetty knew two of her agents (Deeks might as well be one by now) were sleeping together. And she hadn't threatened their lives.

"Right now what I want to know is what's for lunch…" he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts, and looked around at the food on the counter.

"Why do you assume I'm making you lunch?"

"Well…you've got way too much food out for one person."

A devious expression crossed her face. "Oh, I forgot to tell you…I invited my other boyfriend over for lunch. You better get going."

"You think you're funny, don't you? Funny is my job, Blye."

"Mmmm," she hummed and slapped his face lightly. "I am learning from the best."

"Well, that's true."

* * *

The week went by in a blur; the dress arrived on Wednesday while Deeks was there for dinner. They both knew it was risky to have him there again, but after Saturday night the desire to see each other again was irresistible.

Kensi was shocked it was in as good taste as it was. Strapless and black, but full length and the material flared out at the waist. Just above the flare there was a band of burgundy silk that crossed neatly at the back before trailing down the back of the dress.

After that it was a flurry of activity at the Ops center, a special necklace - with camera – had been designed and created and that along with the USB wireless drive that would allow Eric access to McManus' computer was hand delivered to Kensi at the club Friday night by her partner.

It had been the first time he'd shown up inside the club and even he had to admit, it was one of the nicer ones he had the pleasure of being in. And a pleasure it was – especially since his lovely partner was serving him.

Dropping a bottled beer on the table she smiled at him before speaking lowly. "You couldn't bring it by later?"

"Hetty might be onto our little 'visits' and strongly discouraged them so this was the other choice. Besides, I get to see you at work." He eyed her a moment before speaking again. "Nice outfit by the way."

"Shut up, Deeks."

"Why don't you bring that one home with you? I'm especially fond of the boots."

"Of course you are. Twenty minutes, meet me by the men's room, there's a blind spot in the camera's."

"Will do." He picked up the beer and took a long drink.

Exactly twenty minutes later she bumped into him in the hallway and in that two second contact, he gave her the necklace and USB port. Excuse me's were exchanged before they each went their own way and no one was the wiser.

* * *

Standing in front of the full length mirror in the master bedroom, Kensi nodded satisfactorily at her appearance before clasping the necklace around her neck. It was simple, silver chain with three small diamonds hanging from it, the middle diamond; however, was a camera that Eric was waiting for her signal to activate.

Adjusting her low, side ponytail, Kensi slipped in the ear mic and turned it on. "You guys there?"

"_We're here, Kens," _Callen's voice came through clear.

"Ready for video."

A few clicks then, _"We are live, nice dress," _Eric said.

"Thanks, much improved over last time."

Hetty's voice floated over next. _"Callen, Sam and Deeks will all be outside the house if you need them. What time is the limo arriving, dear?"_

"Ten minutes."

"_You know what to do, get into the office, Mr. Beal will download faster than he ever has before, complete your evening and hopefully whatever we find will be enough to end this operation."_

"Understood."

"_Good luck." _The other woman said just as the doorbell rang and Kensi was stuffing her lipstick into her clutch. For a brief moment she wished the sig in the night table drawer was nestled into the purse as well.

Adjusting her ponytail to fall forward over her shoulder and cover the ear with the microphone in it, Kensi took one long breath and slipped back into Cassie LaBlonde, hopefully for the last time.

She arrived along with two other limos to a house that dwarfed the one she was currently staying in. Kensi knew McManus had money, but she didn't think they realized quite how much he was making from his illegal adventures.

As she entered the foyer, the party was in full swing, there were maybe a dozen guests already there, most milling around the large bar area and formal living room. She had a clear view to the pool deck, which was lit up with luminaries of blue and silver. Strolling through the room slowly, taking in everything, she saw McManus standing by the bar chatting up an older man.

Eric's voice floated into her ear. _"According to the permits filed with the city, the office is on the first floor, tucked back behind the kitchen."_

"Cassie, sweetheart," McManus' voice called and she smiled as she started that way.

Halfway to the bar they met and he quickly pulled her into a hug, leaving one arm slung around her waist as they pulled apart.

"Mr Mc…I mean James. This house is…wow," she giggled and looked at him in awe. "It's beautiful."

"Thank you," he said and stepped back from her, admiring the dress as she twirled around. "And you look stunning, darling."

The tone he was using coupled with the pet names moved their 'relationship' to a level she was unaware they had achieved, but she went along with it like Cassie LaBlonde probably would, thrilled to have McManus' attention fully on her.

"The dress is fantastic, you have very good taste."

"That I do," he said and led them over to the bar, handing her a champagne before introducing her to the man he had been talking to. "Cassie, this is Alexander, an old friend of mine."

She shook the other man's hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

Alexander gave her a long curious look before responding, "You as well, Cassie. You work for James?"

"Yes-" she started to answer before McManus cut her off.

"She's a waitress," he said pointedly and with a tone that indicated this line of questioning was over. Kensi found it a curious response but just smiled and sipped from her glass.

For the next three hours she was paraded around the party and Kensi was polite, interested and charming, everything McManus would want in a date. As she was introduced to each guest, Eric would ID them and relay the information back to her. The majority of the guests were legit investors and businessmen, but there was one arms dealer (Alexander, the first man she had met) and one man suspected of heading up the west coasts biggest cocaine distribution ring.

As the party started to wind down and nearly half the guests had left, McManus led her into a somewhat secluded corner of the pool deck. The house was at the top of a steep hill and the pool was at the edge, there was a clear glass barrier about waist high, but nothing else, between her and a long nasty fall. When McManus pressed her gently against the glass she giggled and looked up at the cloudless sky.

"It's lovely out here," she said.

A finger trailed down the skin of her neck, traced her collarbone and came back up, stopping on her shoulder momentarily before his entire hand pressed against her flesh and continued down her arm, lightly grasping her wrist.

"You are lovely," he said again and leaned in, kissing her.

She pulled away as if surprised and looked at him with wide eyes. "James, I don't think…"

The hand around her wrist tightened enough to cause brief pain to shoot up her arm and her eyes snapped to his. She recognized the look she saw there, McManus was determined to break her, to make her subservient, and he was going to enjoy doing it. He leaned down again and kissed her harder, almost painfully; she gave in, allowing him to press his body against hers. Which pushed the top bar holding the glass in place into her lower back, she tried to squirm out of the way, but couldn't without applying force that would give her away as more than just a waitress.

Instead she took the discomfort and returned the kiss, which was increasing in intensity and now she could feel that he was half hard against her. In her career at NCIS, Kensi had slept with exactly two men to get what she needed from them; both times had occurred before Hetty had arrived (and while she was deep undercover) and quickly drawn the line right there. Under no circumstances was she to ever have sex with a target. Which was fine with her, both times she had felt vaguely dirty afterwards and it had taken weeks for her to move on from what she had done. And for Kensi Blye, that was completely unacceptable, normally she would move on from an op as soon as the paperwork was turned in.

When he finally pulled away, she gave him a seductive smile and trailed her fingers up the buttons of his shirt. "I meant, I didn't think the pool deck was the best place for…this, baby."

And she reached up, kissing him gently at first before pressing her tongue against his lips. Instantly he allowed her access and she probed his mouth slowly before pulling away and licking her lips, all without breaking eye contact.

"Restroom?" she asked with the same seductive tone.

"Through the kitchen, to the right."

"Back soon," she said and trailed her fingers across his shoulder as she slipped around him.

"_Eric, den."_ Was all she said into the mic as she stepped into the kitchen and followed the techs directions into the spacious office with French doors that lead to the pool. Checking McManus couldn't see her she turned back to the desk, quickly scanning the surface.

Of course the man had two computers. Pulling the US drive from her clutch, she plugged it in and whispered, "Desktop is ready, Eric. He also has a laptop so let me know when you are done."

Impatiently she rifled through the desk while Eric did his thing, she wanted this op over with. Because just kissing McManus had given her the same sick, dirty feeling she knew sleeping with him would, she hated this part of ops. Hated it. And having her partner in every sense of the word listening didn't help. This had concerned her when they started seeing each other that she wouldn't be able to get close to their targets anymore because her feelings for Deeks would get in the way. On one hand she was relieved that had not been a problem, she played the part to perfection like she always did. Flawless. On the other hand, she felt uneasy, which she never did before.

"_Two more minutes, Kensi." _She continued her search through drawers until Eric's voice returned. _"All set, go for laptop."_

Quickly she unplugged the device and placed it in the laptop. "Go"

"_Ok…wow, way more info on this one, gimme three or four minutes."_

As she continued her searching the desk, voices approaching from the hall caught her attention. One was distinctly McManus.

Shit.

* * *

As Cassie passed through the kitchen and started in the direction of the bathroom, James McManus watched his old friend Alexander stroll through the massive doors and toward him. Sometimes the man was completely insufferable, but he made McManus a small fortune a year, and for that he would put up with him.

"Alexander," he greeted the other man with a firm handshake. "How are you enjoying the party?"

"Wonderful as always, James. But I have to wonder, where did you find your new girl?"

"She came in one day, looking for a job."

"So…she found you?" he asked, his voice communicating more than his words.

"What is your point?"

"Did you check her background? In our business you can never be too careful."

"Yes, Alex. Everything was solid."

"Curious then…"

McManus let out a frustrated sigh, Alex had a very annoying way of getting to the point. "What is so curious, Alex?"

"Well, when my top lieutenant was arrested last year, word got back to me that he was taken down by an undercover federal unit; very hush hush. Specifically a very beautiful brunette…tall, with legs that went on forever and a figure to kill for. And her background was as picture perfect as she was."

"Are you implying Cassie is a Federal Agent? You really are ridiculous sometimes, friend. She is…merely a waitress and looks very good on ones arm."

Alex raised one finger, indicated he was not done. "But….but the thing he remembered most was her eyes. One brown, one black as night, and the black? It bled into the white of her eye, almost like a comet. Very distinct, wouldn't you say?"

McManus considered that for several seconds before speaking, "Come with me," he hissed and stalked back into the house.

* * *

Moving to the front of the desk as the voices got louder and blocking the laptop, Kensi unzipped the side of the dress, allowing it to fall to her waist, exposing a black strapless bra. "Faster, Eric…I've got company coming."

"_I'm trying…"_

The door opened and she plastered a devious grin on her face, licking her lips.

When two men instead of one came through the door, she let out a small squeak of surprise and gathered the material back up. "Oh my god. I am so sorry, I was just…"

That's when she noticed the barely contained fury on McManus' face as he approached her. Something deep inside her knew she had been made, but she made no outward sign of it.

"James?" she asked confused as she zipped the dress back up and Eric's voice came through once more. _"Done, got the laptop."_

"_Get out of there as soon as you safely can Miss Blye."_

"Stupid bitch," he hissed and in one swift motion snatched the purse out of her hands, shoving her out of the way as he dumped the contents onto the desk. Nothing but her (fake) license and lipstick fell out.

"James? What is going on?"

"Shut the fuck up," he yelled and slapped her hard across the face, sending her reeling backward, very nearly falling to the floor before regaining her footing at the last second. Unfortunately as she righted herself, she exposed the side of the laptop that the USB drive had been plugged into and McManus immediately caught sight of the black device, yanking it out.

Turning to her, he held the device between them, his eyes burning with rage. And for just a second Kensi Blye was terrified.

"She is probably wired." The other man stated simply as he blocked the door into the main house; the desk was between her and the pool doors.

McManus scanned her body quickly before zeroing in on her necklace and ripping it from her neck, throwing it under bookshelves that lined the walls behind her. "Where's the mike?"

She remained silent. A fist smashed into her abdomen, sending waves of pain and nausea through her body as she doubled over.

"Tell the guards to be prepared for her backup, they are probably nearly here. I will take care of her."

As the Russian left Kensi straightened up – sending new waves of pain – and leveled McManus with an even look. "You might as well give it up now, _James_. You can't seriously think you're getting out of this now - assaulting a Federal Agent. And whatever you had on those computers? It's being reviewed by people you've never even heard of."

"You were very good, Cassie…or, what is your name, darling? What agency?"

Again she was silent. This time the fist was aimed at her kidney and she couldn't hold back the cry of pain.

"_One minute out, Kens," _Callen's voice came through and she smiled.

He grabbed her by the hair, pulling her head back. "You'll be coming with me, little girl. Leverage."

Immediately she started fighting back, twisting her body sharply even though it caused her intense agony to do so as her hair was pulled at the scalp, and kneed him in the stomach, releasing his hold on her enough that she pulled away and punched him across the face.

"You need to give women more credit you asshole," she hissed and went for a kick to the groin, but he anticipated the move, caught her foot and yanked, sending her sprawling onto the wood floor, cracking her head.

For a moment Kensi saw stars. As they cleared, he pulled her up with an arm around her neck and wrenched her back toward the French doors. That's when she heard the gunfire coming from the front of the house. The team was there.

Kensi tried to pull away, but every time she did, he tightened his grip around her neck, cutting off her oxygen. Instead she was forced to walk backward with him onto the pool deck. As they reached the edge of the pool and he moved toward the outside stairs that would take them to the front of the house she gave it one last effort and snapped her head back, smashing his nose.

It succeeded in releasing his grip, but not enough for her to move away before they both tumbled into the deep end of the expansive pool.

Attempting to swim up, Kensi was stopped by McManus who was above her and had a vice-like grip on her shoulders, keeping her below the surface.

Desperately Kensi grabbed at his arms, scratching, pulling but getting nowhere, he had leverage on her and she was swiftly losing the battle. Eventually she knew her body would betray her and she would breathe in the water; as it was she running out of air, her lungs were burning, screaming at her.

Kicking her feet, she tried to push up one more time, but McManus held her more solidly.

_Deeks…_

Visions of her partner flashed through her head.

_Standing in the middle of a house she had just broken into, eyeing him. "I emailed him some photos. Private photos." "You mean like the two of you watching the sunset at Santa Monica pier or the kind where you're not wearing anything but a smile?"_

_His hands held out to her, lasers between them. "Are you sure?" "No."_

_Music pounding, hands on her hips, their first kiss…even if it was undercover._

"_Ok then, I quit." "No, you don't."_

"_I'm hopelessly falling in love with you." "I'm already in love with you."_

Then there was blackness.

* * *

Soon, readers, soon. I won't leave you twisting too long.


	11. Somewhere I Belong

Well, readers, this is officially the end of the road, its shorter then I intended after doing some editing, but I think the end fits well and comes full circle back to where we started one year after chapter one (in fic timeline). And considering this fic was only intended to be two or three chapters, I think it's been a good ride.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the reviews, alerts and favorites; they are appreciated even on the last chapter.

_(When this began)  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
(I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
(Inside of me)  
But all that they can see the words revealed  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
(Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck, hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_

_I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong_

Somewhere I Belong, Linkin Park

* * *

Chapter 11: The End

Rushing out to the pool as McManus was dragging himself out over the edge, Deeks was in the water in an instant, confident that Sam and Callen would deal with their suspect. It didn't take long before he was wrapping his arms around Kensi's shoulders, swimming back up.

"Callen!" he yelled as they punched the surface of the water. Immediately the other agent was pulling Kensi out, Deeks close behind. Carefully the team lead laid her on the concrete.

"No pulse," Callen said and looked at Deeks.

Without speaking, Deeks leaned in and breathed into his partner's mouth. Somewhere in the background was Sam's terse voice yelling about an ambulance.

As Deeks paused, Callen started chest compressions. "Come on, Kensi," Deeks whispered desperately. "Please, baby…"

Deeks watched in a dream-like state as Callen completed the last of the chest compressions. All he could think was this was not happening; he was not losing his partner like this. Deeks could not accept that as the ultimate outcome.

Desperation flowed through him and Deeks breathed into her mouth again with everything he had, trying to will the life back into her. For a moment he felt dizzy.

Callen started another round of compressions and he was vaguely aware of Sam stating the ambulance was three minutes out.

"God damn it, Kensi," he practically yelled at her. "Come back to me! You've never given up on anything a day in your life, do not give up on me now. Don't!"

"Deeks…" Callen said in a calming tone. "Focus…she needs you to focus."

"Please, please…" he whispered and leaned forward, ready to breathe for her again.

And suddenly she coughed.

* * *

Pain and agony, that's all she was aware of as she pulled in a deep breath and immediately regretted the action as she coughed hard, sending searing pain through her chest.

"Kensi!" Deeks voice was distant, fuzzy, but she was aware of being rolled onto her side as water was expelled violently from her lungs and stomach. Taking several deep breaths she felt a familiar hand rubbing her back gently and finally opened her eyes enough to see she was lying on the pool deck, McManus cuffed next to Sam. Callen was on his knees at her waist, a pained expression on his face. And Deeks was at her head, whispering words she couldn't quite make out. Again pain tore through her abdomen and chest as the last bits of water were forced from her system and she let out a small cry.

"Deeks," she tried to say but only succeeded in getting out a small squeaking noise.

Strong arms gathered her into her partner's lap and she laid her head on his chest, gripping his t-shirt desperately as his arms wrapped strongly around her. She was exhausted and everything was blurred around her but didn't want to give into the pull, terrified she wouldn't wake again.

Coughing a few more times, she realized she was shivering despite the warm evening air and an equally warm body she was pressed against.

"C-c-cold," she finally got out and it wasn't a few seconds after that she was covered with a jacket; probably Callen's.

"Did…did you get him?" she forced out.

"Yeah," Deeks responded and rubbed his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her body. "Now shush, the ambulance is here."

Later Kensi wouldn't be able to recall all of what happened after the EMTs arrived. There were bits and pieces of memory. Being loaded into the ambulance, stripped of her soaking wet dress, Deeks making a stupid comment about her being stripped of her dress and then nothing until she woke up in a hospital room, sensors attached to her chest monitoring her heart rate.

Blinking her eyes several times to get them to focus, Kensi first looked around the room before taking in her partner, folded into a large leather chair in the corner, a fleece blanket covering his body.

She wasn't going to wake the sleeping man, content to watch him, but a voice from the door did it for her. "Miss Blye, you are awake," Hetty stated and Deeks immediately sat up, looking around confused, his hair going in every direction possible.

"Hetty," he said while rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I…I just woke up," Kensi answered while watching him with a soft smile.

The small woman entered the room, looking at the pair. Her agent still looked exhausted, her skin still rather pale and had a large bruise on the side of her face where McManus had slugged her. The LAPD detective didn't look much better, dark circles were prominent under his eyes.

"How are you feeling, dear?"

"Tired."

She nodded. "As expected, and you, Mr Deeks?"

"I'm good," he said and ran his fingers through his hair, attempting to tame it.

"Well, I thought you two would like to know that the information Eric got from the computers in McManus' office was extraordinary. We not only have McManus, but the data implicates several other major players in Los Angeles. Excellent work."

"Thank you, Hetty," Kensi said.

"I spoke to the doctor, as long as everything goes well you will be released tomorrow morning. I do not wish to see you or your partner in the office for two days after that."

"Hetty…" Kensi started to protest but the older woman stopped her with just a finger.

"This is not negotiable Ms Blye. This has been a long, hard case and you deserve, and probably require, the time off to recuperate. Nearly drowning is nothing to ignore, dear."

After considering this, Kensi nodded. "Ok."

"Good then, I'll leave you two. Unless something changes, I will see both of you on Thursday."

The pair nodded and the Operations Manager left, satisfied.

Slowly Deeks got up, stretching the kinks out of his back and moved to sit on the edge of her bed, taking her hand. "That scared hell out of me last night."

"I'm sorry."

He reached up and touched her face carefully. "You don't need to be sorry; there is nothing to be sorry for. I just…" he let out a long breath, unsure how much to admit to her. "You weren't breathing and I've never been so terrified in my life. I thought for sure I was going to lose you right there."

"I didn't mean…I don't…God." She looked down at her hands, frustrated. Because she did hate that she was responsible for making him feel this particular brand of fear. The kind that for a long time she lived with on a regular basis; the fear that everyone would leave her. But this time instead of scaring her off, Kensi was more determined to make every second of however long they had together count. He did that for her, he gave her hope and promise and a future. And so without warning she changed the subject with a single word.

"Yes."

Cocking his head at her, Deeks looked utterly confused. "Yes…what?"

"I'll move in with you."

A surprised expression crossed his face. "Wait…what? Are you serious?"

"I'm always serious."

A broad smile crossed her face, but Deeks looked concerned. "I don't…are you sure this isn't some reaction to almost drowning?"

"I am reacting to almost drowning, Deeks." Carefully she leaned forward, placing her forehead on his. "Because you know what, I don't want to miss out on something great because of fear. I want my life outside work to have more meaning then it does. Shit, I want to _have _a life outside work."

"Ok…ok." He smiled broadly and kissed her deeply.

"Ok…" she smiled into his lips and laughed.

* * *

December 25th, 2011, 1 am

Fingers trailing up her naked spine woke Kensi from a deep sleep.

"You should know better than to wake me up when we don't have a case," she mumbled into the pillow. "I did bring my gun."

Suddenly the hand stopped and Kensi smiled to herself. "You brought your weapon?" he asked.

"Yep."

"On vacation."

"Yep."

"We're in Sonoma. Hetty said we were not on call barring an _actual_ nuclear incident."

"I know."

"You know."

"Yep," she said and rolled over, facing him.

"I don't think I will ever actually understand how that brain of yours works."

"Probably better that way," she said and kissed his collarbone, a recently discovered sensitive spot.

"Probably," he agreed.

"So…" She pulled away and looked at him. "Why _did_ you wake me up?" Her tone was hopeful and her fingers had started dancing on his bare chest, slowing working their way down.

"It's snowing…" he said simply and her head snapped to the large French doors at the foot of the bed, fingers frozen.

So it was. Large, fluffy flakes where falling at a quick pace past the windows. Kensi sat up slightly, pulling the thick comforter up to cover her bare chest.

"This place is the best," she breathed out and looked at him. Deeks had found a small bed and breakfast in Sonoma for them to spend the long holiday weekend. They had their own "cabin" on the property and had really only left it to eat at the main building. The rest of the time had been spent either in bed or relaxing either inside on their private deck next to the outside fireplace. It was easily the best vacation she had ever been on.

"Thought you might like it."

"Love it. You don't see that in LA," she said and sunk back onto the pillows smiling, Deeks hovering over her, an equally broad smile on his face. "You are something else."

"That's what I've heard."

"Prove it," she whispered and her fingers started sliding down his chest once more.

"Yes, ma'am…" he said and buried his face in her neck, kissing slowly. "Oh, and Kens…"

"Mmmm," she responded.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Marty."

END


End file.
